Cry in the dark

Why do we Cry in the Dark?

Why Do We Cry in the Dark?

As I sat and pondered this question of why people cry in the dark, it occurred to me that maybe I am just assuming things. Maybe I am the only one who sometimes cries in the dark. Or just maybe, you who are reading this at this moment, cry in the dark too.

Why Do We Cry in the Dark?

What is so special about the dark? Why don’t you see people walking around on a daily basis and cry as they smile or laugh; sometimes the laughter sounds fake but compared to crying, it is acceptable anyway. Smiling and laughing are attributed to positive emotions by society. Maybe that is the reason why a person who is smiling can be more lethal than one who is crying…because we look at the lips and get distracted, instead of looking at the eyes which often tell a person’s intention.


There is a Time and Place for Crying

There is a time and place for crying…this is an unspoken rule laid out by our society over generations. We don’t want to spoil the ambience by having someone cry, that is, unless there is an obvious reason, like at a wedding or graduation ceremony. And, you will even get away with crying if you are watching a sad movie, like those shown on Life Time channel.

On the flip side, crying is only acceptable in certain “bad” situations, especially when someone we love has died. Does this mean that we should leave up all our pent-up emotions and find the perfect excuse to let it out?  Like at a funeral…even if the deceased was a distant relative who never meant anything to us?


Crying is a Sign of Deep Emotions

Many of us walk around on a daily basis, but deep inside, we long for the freedom and guiltlessness of crying. We long to cry for different reasons; for some of us, it is because we feel frustrated by the lack of progress in our lives. We long to cry because our hearts are broken. We long to cry because we have been hiding our emotions for so long and never had the courage to let it out. We long to cry because we are tired of pretending that we don’t have our weak moments. Crying, like any other emotion, needs an outlet, but  we know if we cry in the presence of others we might be seen as weak, immature, or sensitive, so we cry in the dark. Take a read of the Fascinating Psychology  of  Emotional Release.

By no means am I a sad person, neither do I think of you as such. Like everyone else, I have my moments, which are often more happy moments than sad ones. I have a passion for life and because of my determination; many see me as being strong, even too strong. They see the outer shell like a stalk of a rose…with thorns ready to dig in if need be. But inside, I am just as sensitive as anyone else, but just don’t want to show…For one thing I have learned is that not everyone can tolerate a show of emotions. It is for this reason that I believe you cry in the dark too. We all cry in the dark, no matter how tough we are on the outside…the tougher the exterior persona, the more deep the emotions.


Women Crying Vs. Men Crying 

I know that some of us, especially men, have been brought up not to show emotions such as crying. Some of us were told that crying is a sign of weakness, more so, when the tears were shed by a man. On the other hand, when a woman cries, hardly anyone takes notice. But, if men are not allowed to express their themselves and get rid of pent-up emotions, what will they do with that energy? Obviously, the sneaking around, crying in the night, fearing someone will find you out is not going to help much.  Not even the media seems to support men who cry, for I searched online for a free photo of a crying man and the above image was the best I could fine. But there is hope yet, I just found this great article which can help us understand men’s tears vs women’s tears, go get a read Obamas’s Tears: The Science of Men Crying.

All the males who have been crying in the dark without any ease of your frustration, it is time to let out the loudest howl you can muster and do so in the brightness of day! Maybe if more males did this, society would finally realize our males are just as human as a woman and should be able to cry too. Don’t be afraid to cry, some of us understand that when a man is really moved to tears, it is a sign of his strength and his genuineness.


Oh and one more thing before I go, has anyone ever thought of the reason why men don’t like to see women cry? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments’ section below.



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