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7 Habits That Prevent Women From Finding Love

7 Habits That  Prevent Women From Finding Love

The secret to finding true love and keeping it may just lie with you. Finding love is one thing, but knowing how to make it grow and last requires that we do certain things. A relationship is hard work and contrary to what some women think, getting a ring on the finger does not mean the relationship will last. Sometimes we sabotage our chances of finding love without actually realizing it until it is too late. Before we go any further, I want to urge you to seriously consider the following questions;

Are you sabotaging your love life?

Is there someone who is willing to love you but you wouldn’t give them the chance?

Love relationships, fear
Don’t over think it, just do it

You see, not all women who are single have difficulty finding a man to love them. Some women just have a fear of being hurt, being rejected, being abandoned. When anyone tries to get close, we start imagining the worse instead of letting things flow naturally. We become so obsessed with what can go wrong that we fail to see all the things that can go right. In the end we push the man away, thus sabotaging our chances of not only finding love, but keeping love.

For my male readers, I promise to let you in on how you may be sabotaging your chance of love by letting you in on how women think. Stay tuned. Today is for the ladies like myself who let our fears push great men away.

Heck, I am 38 going on 39 and I am still single. I bet some of the people who know me are thinking that something is wrong with me…hmm. You know what? They are probably right. Something is wrong with me. But, it is not what you think.   Every day I meet men who look at my fingers as soon as we began to chat and ask me why I am not married.  And I say, I have not found the right one as yet? And, they are like, you are probably looking for a “perfect man.”  Each time I am in one of these conversations I find myself explaining that I am not looking for the perfect man. But, what I do not do is tell the truth…that I am fearful of getting too close, fearful of getting hurt, and fearful of being abandoned.

 

Through personal experience, observing others, reading relationship articles, and self-reflection I have come up with a few things which may be hindering women like us from finding and keeping love and what we can do to turn this around. Join me ladies, for I am seriously on a mission to ignore my fear and go for it the next time love comes around.

  • We Worry About the Future of the Relationship

    One thing I have realized is that everything comes with a certain amount of risk, yes, even relationships. At the beginning, we may feel right for each other, but there is no guarantee that things will always work out the way we want. This awareness should not stop us from trying though. For if we do not give the relationship a shot, how would we know the outcome. Besides, even if things do not work out, we can always look back at the memories in our old age and smile. You know what they

say…it is better to have loved once than never at all. So, take each moment as it comes and enjoy it to the fullest.

  • We Are  Uncomfortable Talking About Ourselves

    Instead of having meaningful conversations, we stick to superficial conversations and  do not allow others to get the true essence of who we are underneath. When you meet someone who is genuinely interested in you and the feeling is mutual, allow them to get to know the real you. Instead of making superficial jokes and trying to deflect the attention off you, tell that special someone a little more about yourself each time you have the chance to do so. If he never asks about your dreams, how you are doing, your favorite color, or what you enjoy doing for fun may be  indicative that he is not interested in anything serious and you can just move on before things get complicated. But, if he shows interest in things about you, it means that he is genuinely wants the answer to the questions he asks and really wants to get to know you.

    SIX SECRETS TO SUCCESSFUL DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS

  • We Find it Hard to Let go of Our Past and Any Baggage We May Have

    Sometimes we allow past experiences as far back as our childhood to affect how we interact and relate to others. Instead of allowing each new experience to flow and to enjoy the feelings to encompass us, we let our negative experiences take precedence over our present feelings. These negative experiences may trigger fear of abandonment and distrust, thus prevent you from finding true love.

I feel safe enough to tell you about my insecurities
I feel safe enough to tell you about my insecurities

As for me, I have decided to be brave despite my fears and give love a chance. No more running away for me. The only thing I will keep running from are cockroaches. I do not think I can ever face a roach.

  • We Are Afraid  to Show Some Vulnerability 

    I know, we all try to act as if we are strong, but it is okay to let down our guard and let someone else be there for us. Most of us have gone through a painful experience. Most of us, though we act all strong, need a shoulder to lean on at some point. One way to deal with past negative experiences is by talking about them. Talking about your experiences is a sign that you have dealt with the pain, accepted what happened, and is willing to move forward. It shows that you are strong. Sometimes, talking about your experience with another human being can be scary. We want the relationship to work so we do not want to upset the other person and run them off by telling them anything that will show us in a negative light. However, not talking about something that caused us much pain does not mean that the feelings will go away.

Have you ever started a relationship and as soon as you felt as if you were in love you found yourself thinking about negative experiences you’ve had in the past? It’s as if these emotions were waiting until you were happy to pounce their ugly head. When these emotions of fear, anger, pain, or distrust arise, do not bottle them in. If you do not feel it is the right time to talk with the person you are dating, find someone you trust and talk about it.

In order to help me get over the issues I was facing, I had a long talk with my dad. This talk took me all the way back to my mother’s womb. The fact is, my dad left my mom when she was pregnant with me to migrate to another country and marry another woman. I saw my dad for the first time when I was 7 years old. By then he was like a stranger to me. I hated him. We never really had a good relationship for almost all of my life until recently I realized in order to heal I had to let go of the past, forgive, and allow him to be the father I did not have as a child. It has not been easy letting go and trusting him. But, I must say that having this new relationship with him has made me realized that love goes deeper than simply expression of words.

  • We  Call it Quits Every Time We Get in to an Argument or Have a Misunderstanding.

    While I am not advocating anyone to tolerate mistreatment in a relationship, there are some things that we can let slide. So, your partner did something you did not like and you do not handle the situation the proper way. For example, picture a scenario where he looks at or flirt with another woman. What do you do? Do you get all upset about it and curse him out then decided to leave? When you really get to the main issue, ask yourself,  if it is because he looked at another woman that caused you to get upset? Or, consider if you may have felt insecure in the relationship? The way you react in a situation like this is crucial. Chances are, every man you meet is going to stare at another woman at one point or another. And if you plan to sweat it every time, you are going to sweat all of your life. So, whatever you do, do not sweat about the small stuff. Know when to let things slide.

  • We Have a Hard Time Apologizing

    If you have done your partner wrong, apologize. Sometimes we are a little stubborn even when we know we are wrong. Failure to apologize can come off as being uncaring. Personally, if someone does me something wrong, it makes it a little easier for me to forgive them. On the other hand, I will still forgive you if you wronged me and never apologized, but I would never let you near me again.

  • We Find it Challenging to Forgive and Let go of the Little Offences

    While some relationship issues like abuse is unforgivable, others may just be minor offences, like arriving late for a date. Do not let small grudges fester. If you must discuss it do so promptly and forget about it. Too many arguments leave us drained and affects how the other person relates and views us. Not everything you feel offended about might be worth mentioning. Know when to let things go and how to communicate with your partner when something he does or does not do affects you. Communication is key to resolving issues, bottling it up inside will only lead to major arguments later on in the relationship.

  • CLICK HERE FOR :13-toxic-habits-that-can-prevent-you-from-finding-love-how-to-fix-the-problem

Most of us dream of having a happy and fulfilling relationship. But, sometimes we unknowingly get in our own way. If any of these points relate to you, take some time to reflect: see how you can learn from the your past experiences and  make a fresh start. It is never too late to change. Even if your last relationship failed it does not mean that you will fail again. As I tell myself lately, give love a chance before you squish it.

Thank you for stopping by; leave your comments below. I’d really love to hear what has been stopping you from finding true love and keeping it.

One Surprising Use of Baking Soda

One Surprising Use of Baking Soda

Have you ever had a piece of clothing that whenever you washed it there was still a funny odor on it. Yes, some materials are like that; you would wash them, rinse them until the water is clear, and when they are dried, they will have a smell. For example, there are some underwear and bras which tend to retain the smell of sweat, even after you’ve washed them. Often times, these garments are made of other materials besides cotton.

Sometimes, fabric (clothes) softener such as downy and snuggle might hide the scent; however, this is not always the case. Whenever you have a situation, where fabric softener does not do the trick then you switch to baking soda!

Here are 51 uses of for using baking soda: Click here

Baking soda? Yes, you read correctly. Baking soda is one of those household agents that have many uses. Some of the uses of baking soda include baking, putting in foods such as peas and meat that is hard to cook, soaking your feet to remove dead cells and dirt, to mixing it with honey and olive oil for a nice lip, to get rid of unpleasant odor  (shoes, clothes, refrigerator), for cleaning/mopping surfaces, scrubbing the toilet/bathroom…

Cracked Heels: The Secret Remedy is Found in Your Kitchen

Today, we look at baking soda’s use in removing stubborn odor from clothing and under garments such as bra and panties, boxers, shorts…

How to Use The Baking Soda To Freshen Your Clothes

  1. Full a basin/tub/bucket of water. The water can be warm or straight from the tap. For me, I use the water from the tap.
  2. Measure baking soda according to how many pieces of clothes and the amount of water. For me, a quarter cup of baking soda is good in a liter of water.
  3. Add the baking soda to the water and stir until most have dissolved
  4. Add clothes to water, making sure that the water is sufficient to cover the clothes.
  5. Soak for half to one hour
  6. Remove, then wash as normal, then rinse and hang in the sun to dry.
  7. If you are accustomed to using fabric softener, do not use in this instance. You want to make sure that the baking soda has gotten rid of the scent.
  8. Usually, the first wash removes the unpleasant odor. However, I recommend using this formula the next time you wear the garment.

How to Get Softer and Silkier Lps in Minutes

Please leave a comment in the comment section below when you have tried this formula. I would love to hear your feedback.

How To Cope With Unmet Expectations

 

How To Cope With Unmet Expectations

Unmet expectations are one of main causes of human sorrow. In fact, everyone I know has had some unmet expectations. Personally, I recall many instances in my life when I became very anxious. In many of these instances, my expectations were high then my feelings of disappointment and pain came crashing down.  In some instances, I cried, became angry, or retreat into my antisocial mood.

In this post, I refer to the past two years and more of my life. For almost three years, I have struggled to find a job. Each place I applied has either not responded or said they will keep my application on file. In all of those instances, I have had only one interview. Now, you would think that this will break anyone, but for me, this has only strengthened my resolve to work harder and constantly sought ways of improving myself.

Similar Posts Hope: The Power of Expectation

It is never easy when you are expecting someone to come through for you and in the end, they do not; if this happens too many times, it is easy for you to become discouraged and lose your faith and trust. Eventually, you have to find a way to cope and as you ponder the issue of unmet expectations, realize that what you expect does not depend solely on what you do. Our expectations mainly depend on what others decide and circumstances outside of us for which we have little or no control…

However, even as difficult as it is to cope with unmet expectations, it is something you will have to learn to deal with because as long as you are a living human being you are going to face disappointments.  Instead of living in fear and thinking that nothing is going to go the way you want in life, the healthier way to cope will be to change your attitude about expectations.

The Silent Marriage Killer In this article the writer gives a unique perspective of how one can cope with expectations in a marriage.

Now, I would never suggest to anyone not to have expectations, because as much as you have been hurt by unfulfilled expectations you cannot totally live without having expectations. Instead, what you should consider doing is go with the flow. Whenever you feel disappointed about something that did not turn out the way you wanted, it is okay if you feel upset for a while then you shake it off. You could consider distracting yourself by thinking well, every disappointment is for the better.

Do I believe that every disappointment is for the better? Yes, I do. Repeatedly, things have worked out perfectly for me after a severe storm in my life. This has given me the ability to cope with anxiety and the other feelings that result from unmet expectations. After so many rejections and unmet expectations, the period for me to bounce back has become narrower.

Therefore, I urge you that the next time your expectations do not come through, as you wanted to, realize that it is not the end of the world. Rather, not having your expectations met is a new opportunity for you to change direction; whether it is in the way you think or act. Take one day at a time; go with the flow, no hustle.

Do not let the fear of unmet expectations limit you. Be brave, be curious, and have the resilience to move forward~~~~Ophelia Myall

Three Positive Ways to Look at Disappoinment

 

Three Positive Ways to Look at Disappoinment

Disappointment is sometimes for the better
Disappointment is sometimes for the better

If you have lived long enough to be reading this blog, then I am certain that like me, you have also experienced some form of disappointment. Indeed, as long as we live, disappointments are bound to happen, but we should always remind ourselves not to take disappointments so disappointingly. Whether it is feeling disappointed about the outcome of a job, a relationship, an event, something we did or something someone else did, we can all relate to the word “disappointment.” If it were possible, I am certain some of us would have removed this word from the dictionary and replace it with excitement, joy, fun, and every pleasant word which comes to mind.

Since there is no way to avoid feeling disappointed, have you thought about seeing disappointment in a new light? Will you consider making a mental effort not to feel completely devastated when something you were expecting turns out different from what you wanted it to be? When the moment happens, instead of immediately reacting and feeling like a victim , are you willing to take the time to process the situation and tell yourself it can only mean something bigger is in store for you? Today I share with you three reasons why you should not take disappointments so disappointingly.

Here is an article at  Psychcentral.com that is helpful in dealing with disappointments

  1. Disappointments Lead to Self-reflection

One of the greatest challenges for some of us is that of self-reflection. We are so busy living our lives and doing what seems normal to us that we often do not take the time to look at ourselves from a new perspective. In fact, some of us may be blind to our true selves because we never really take the time to get to know who we really are and who we want to be. We live daily without reflecting on the decisions we have made and the end results of those decisions. But, alas! Here comes big bad Disappointment! It comes like a monster, breathes down our throat and telling us, “sorry for not turning out the way we wanted them to.” Disappointment forces us to take stock of life! It helps us to be more realistic in our expectations, because not everything is going to turn out the way we want.

  1. Disappointments Are Guides to Different Paths

When disappointment rears its ugly head, our natural response is to get all worked up and rant and rave about how life sucks and to ask the question “why me?” But if we have not started before, today can be the day we change how we respond to disappointments. Instead of getting all worked up, we can take some deep breaths, just like the ones women in labor are encouraged to take. These deep breathing exercises will allow our bodies a good supply of much needed oxygen and enough time to slowly relax. Afterwards, when we are in a better frame of mind, we’d realize that the situation does not control you, it is the other way around. We’d see that somethings are just not in our control, but how we choose to respond is more important. Experiencing a challenging situation, read Think Twice Before Taking the Path of Least Resistance for some genuine insights.

 

In my early twenties, I can recall how disappointed I felt. Every job I applied for, I was turned down. I was 5 years out of high school, one child, and no job experience.  I was turned down for every job I applied for, because they needed people with job experience or of a certain height. At five feet and a half inch, I was not even qualified to be a police officer. But rather than take it disappointingly, I laughed my head off when they measured me in my three inch heels and told me I was still too short.

 

I really needed to be employed. But as I reflect on these experiences, I realized that had they not occurred I would never have been where I am today. Had they not turned me down, I would never have taken the path which lead me to a career which helped me discover my true purpose in life and what I really enjoy doing. I took a different path and enrolled in the registered nursing program. Later I pursued further studies in a field that I love so dearly…nursing education. Throughout my life I always try not to take disappointments so disappointingly.

 

  1. Disappointments Help Build Your Sense of Appreciation

Disappointment, though difficult to bear, in the moment we are experiencing it, can help us appreciate people and situations even more when we all is said and done. Imagine yourself in the fruits and vegetables’ market. You are desperate for some firm oranges to make a fruit salad. Each orange you pick up is over-ripe. The vendor is looking at you. You are trying to be pleasant, but you can’t help but feel disappointed. And it shows. Unfortunately, you have been picking up oranges after oranges without finding any firm ones. But, as you are about to give up your fingers came in contact with unbelievably firm oranges. You began to smile; you have finally found what you were looking for and are all set to make your fruit salad!

 

Sometimes, life can be compared to the orange scenario. Every attempt you make to improve yourself, you are met with some resistance.  Your relationships may start out wonderful then they go sour. After a while, you become sick and tired of being sick and tired. Just when you think that things will not get better, here comes your break through. Because you were so tired of all the disappointments, you appreciate when something great happens in your life. Sometimes, we ought to be thankful for the disappointments in our lives, because, had they not occurred, we would not really appreciate when something good happens to us. As we go forward, we should remind ourselves not to take disappointments so disappointingly.

Can you recall a time when you felt disappointed? What was the situation? How did things turn out later down the road? Please share your experiences with us in the comments section below.

 

5 Reasons to Walk Away From A Relationship

 

5 Reasons to Walk Away From A Relationship

 

If nothing seems to be working in your relationship, it may be time to walk away
If nothing seems to be working in your relationship, it may be time to walk away

Have you ever been in a relationship, long or short term and realized that you felt stagnant?

Have you ever been in a relationship where you cry more than you are happy and everything you do makes you feel worst? I’ve been there so I know firsthand what it feels like.

While there are many situations from which we may need to move on, this post focuses on walking away when things are not working in an intimate relationship. While making a decision is your ultimate responsibility, these tips will help you decide your next step.

 

Ineffective Communication in the Relationship 

One of the key things which make a relationship successful is communication. It is through communication that we stay connected to those we hold most dear. You know things are coming to a screeching half if you or your partner has reached the point where they can no longer have a rational conversation. Perhaps, it has gotten to the point where you shout at each other with hopes of being heard.

 

If it has become a habit of arguing and at the end of the argument the issue does not gets solved, it is not effective communication. Repetitive arguing leaves those involved mentally drained. The person who is rational may become tired and just behave indifferently to the point where they no longer listen to the other. If you are the person doing the shouting and you have no intentions of having a civil conversation, it may be best for you to walk away. If your partner is the one who refuses to compromise, you will need to seriously consider ending the relationship.

 

While I am not trying to find excuses for any adult who shouts at another person, in order to be heard, I realized that sometimes, we find ourselves in relationships with people whom we are not compatible. Being with them seems to bring out the worst in you. And, if you are not experienced at handling communication issues, you may resort to behaviors you never knew you were cable of in hopes of getting them to act reasonably. It does not matter what you do, some people will never change and some will only change if they see the benefit to do so. Before you destroy yourself and lose your sanity…walk away.

Lack of Support in the Relationship

While we are not expecting anyone to spoon feed us, we all need people in our lives to support us in our dreams and aspirations. How do you know when someone is being supportive? One of the early signs I look for when dating someone is whether they ask about my dreams and actually listen to my response. Sometimes it is not easy to spot whether the other person genuinely cares. The person may start out by asking you all sorts of questions about yourself. But, after a while, you noticed that they seem to have forgotten about your well-being. You may notice their only focus is on what they can get from you rather than what they bring to the relationship…

 

There are different ways in which we show our support for others, and it does not have to be financial. We can show our support for our significant other by being encouraging and helpful. For example, if your partner is learning to build a website and you are quite skillful in this area, you can show support by offering your assistance. We can also show support by praising our partners for small accomplishments to help boosts their self-esteem.

If your partner is consistently not showing any interest in you other than physical intimacy and having a supportive partner is one of your relationship must haves…and you have had discussions about this issue on several occasions without any signs of improvement on their part…it may be time to say good bye. For an amazing read and a heartfelt experience on when it may be time to walk away go take a look at this blog.

 

Lack of Trust in the Relationship

 

What is a relationship without trust? It does not matter how much feelings of love you have for another person, if either of you cannot trust the other then you might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

There are times when you are going to need your “me” time in order to maintain a healthy relationship. There is nothing more humiliating that having to become a private FBI for your partner or vice versa. Imagine going out with friends and your partner calls you every five minutes to ask you where your where about…or worst still…driving by the place you and your friends are eating just to see what you are up to. Imagine all the things we do when we do not trust someone…searching their phones…stalking them on social media…

Trust broken is very hard to rebuild. If there was not any trust issues in the beginning and the trust eroded because of what one partner may have done, and both of you are unable to get pass the issue and rebuild trust…it is time to walk away.

 

 

Lack of Interest in the Relationship

It takes two to make a relationship work. Sometimes a relationship starts out great and both partners are super excited! However; after a few months in, one or both partners may become distant for whatever reason. When this happens, there is less communication and interaction as one or both partners find other things to occupy their time.

Consider your situation and make a decision
Reflect on your relationship and make a decision

A lack of interest may exist in long term relationships where people become too comfortable. So, instead of working to maintain the spark, they take each other for granted.  Sometimes, we become so caught up with other things that we are not even aware that our relationship is crumbling until it badly in need of repair.

Follow this link to gain another perspective on signs it is time to leave your partner.

 

If you are the one who does not have any interest in continuing the relationship, it will be a good thing if you can communicate this honestly to your partner, rather than leading them on. If you find yourself in the position where you are hurting because your partner no longer shows interest in being with you, you may want to have a talk and communicate your feelings in a non-accusing way. If your partner has no inclination in making the relationship work, then keep your dignity intact and move on.

 

Your Partner is Abusive in the Relationship

There are many forms of abuse including emotional, physical, and financial. Often times, all of these forms, especially the first two are intertwined. If you are being abused by your partner, you may need to seek help from a professional. There are organizations which are specially designed to handle these cases. Seek help before it is too late.

Abuse does not discriminate against gender or age. While women are often the one being abused, there are cases of women abusing men. I personally do not believe anyone should stay in a relationship where they are being abused. In order to prevent an escalating situation, it is even more critical that you seek help if physical abuse is present.

At the end of it all, it is not always easy to walk away. But, always choose your happiness and well-being over a relationship that is going nowhere. We all deserve to be loved and appreciated in our relationships. There is never a time when abuse is okay. Realize that not everyone who enters our lives is meant to stay. Take the lessons you learn and move on. There is nothing more great than finding peace

Have you ever found yourself in an abusive relationship? Or know of someone who has endured some form of abuse. Share your insights in the comment box below.

 

 

3 Ways To Maximize Your Learning As An Online Student

How To Maximize Your Learning As An Online Student

I too had my reservations when I started on my journey as an online student. I was so accustomed to being in a traditional class setting that I could not imagine how I could learn in an environment where I was basically responsible for my learning. If you are new to online learning or you are thinking of becoming an online student in the near future, this article is for you. As a former online student, I think online learning environment is just as effective being in a traditional classroom; however, you must take responsibility for your own learning. Let us have a look at 3 tips that can help you maximize your learning as an online student.

1. Make A Commitment To Read As Much As Possible

Read, read, read, as much as you can…because communication is done via writing you must develop a love for reading. Do not just read the required coursework; take the time to do some supplemental reading as well. As an online student, you want to make sure that you understand each topic so that you will not feel lost as the course and program goes on.

Always remember that as an online student, you are responsible for your learning. While there is a guide for each course and lesson, to make sure the basics are covered, how much you really learn is dependent on you.  Once you make a commitment and develop a study routine, you will find that reading comes naturally.

Utilize the classroom library when doing assignments and even for discussions. I have found that some of the studies are very helpful when searching for evidence to support your writing. Also, take time to read from the list of articles which can be found beneath the course materials. These articles are often marked as supplemental or suggested readings. While these are not compulsory, they are often helpful providing information that can help you further understand a topic.

2. Do More Than The Minimum Requirement

Where possible, do more than the minimum requirements for each assignment. From the very start of your program, develop a habit of frequently engaging with instructors and other students during the discussion periods. For example, if the basic requirement for weekly discussions is to respond to two student’s discussion posts, do not just do the basics, go the extra mile and read more of what is written by other students.

Often times, it is through the experiences of others that we get ideas and are better able to relate a given topic. On the days for discussion, set adequate time to engage in the topic being discussed. If you skim through the discussion posts you will lessen your chances of learning something new.

3. Where Possible Do Each Course Consecutively

If you can avoid it, do not skip your courses. Instead of skipping, delaying, or even rushing courses, do each course in the sequence in which it comes. Delaying a course might affect your learning because each course is normally a step up from the previous course. If significant time has lapsed between end of one course and commencing the next, you might need to review the previous course material in order to understand what the current course is all about. Doing courses consecutively also saves time because your knowledge would be fresh going into the next course.

Final Word

Online learning is just as effective as traditional learning once you the student is fully committed. Do not get in to the habit of idling because once developed, procrastination becomes a pattern. Develop healthy study habits and keep the momentum going. You will find 10 Ways to Engage Students in an Online Course helpful in helping you find ways of succeeding as an online student.

NB: this article was first published at elearningindustry.com.

Are You Tired of Doing Good?

Are You Tired of Doing Good?

At some point in our lives, we all get tired: especially if we habitually do things that do not seem rewarding. One such thing we get tired of is being kind, doing good and helping others. Today, I want to challenge anyone out there who has a good heart not to change because you’re not getting the recognition you think you deserve. In this post I remind you of three reasons why you should continue to do good things.

 

1. The Good You Do Comes Back To You

If you are tired of doing good here is one more thing to consider before you throw in the towel. When you help others, you always receive your reward in some way. Sometimes, things may appear as if they are going downhill; however, once you are a person that renders kindness to others, life has a way of sending people to support you. When you really need the support and do not know where the help you need may come from, the right people cross your path.  For example, for years, while I was working I was good to so many people. When things became tough for me, people I did not know while I was in my good times stepped in to offer their assistance. Here are some ideas for being kind to others.

Yes, the people you help may not always be the ones to help you back, because often times they are in no position to do so. In addition, sometimes, they are so used to taking that they turn their back on you when bad times fall on you. Nevertheless, do not lose heart because of these people…just keep sowing good seeds in different places.

 

2. You Also Benefit When You Do Good To Others

Are you feeling discouraged, because no one seems to appreciate your goodness? If so, I urge you to consider this: being kind is not just about the other person. When you help someone, the feeling of joy and satisfaction you experience is enough compensation. I could remember during my trials when I changed my perspective. Instead of being grumpy and taking out my frustrations on others, I made a commitment to be kind. To treat others the way I yearned to be treated. At first, this new behavior was challenging. I was so accustomed to retaliating that it took sometime before I could change this habit of rendering evil for evil.

When people hurt us, we can be tempted to put the blame on others, because we may not be in a position to respond in kind to those who hurt us. Always remember that how you feel is no excuse for how you treat others, even when they wrong you. Instead of retaliating, hold your peace and keep helping those who appreciate. I always believe that the reward for helping others do not come from man, it comes from the Almighty God.

3. Doing Good Is The Right Thing To Do

Being kind, doing good, helping others are the right things to do. At the end of the day, one of your goals should be to live in a peaceful environment, and this can only be possible by being kind to one another.

Do not dwell on what you have done for someone in the past: whether or not the person to whom you were kind does not show appreciation. How would you feel if you were unkind to someone? Would it worry you, or would you rest peaceful despite your actions? Your answer to that should be a guide to your actions.

Please share your views of being kind or good to others. I’d love to hear of any experiences you had with being kind to others.

3 Valuable Lessons We Can Learn From The Little Red Hen

 

3 Valuable Lessons We Can Learn From The Little Red Hen

How many of us have developed the habit of reading? In this day and age where technology has made almost everything readily available, some of us have become very lazy to read. Many of the things available in writing are also available in videos. We no longer need to read the news because we now have access to news clips which tells us the basic details.

Technology has helped us in many ways; however, I personally hold on to some of the traditional things I did. For example, instead of just listening to the video in a post, I still have the habit of reading, as long as the alternative is available. I find that by reading I retain and listening to the videos helped me retain more of the message than just listening to the video. Also, some things which are missing in the video are often in the written message.

Check out this Video on my Facebook page where you can hear more insights of the lessons learned from Little Red Hen.

In today’s post, I reflect on how much reading has helped me. In my reading as a child I went to more places than I have ever traveled. And those that I have visited, I knew about them because I read about many of these places first. Not only did reading take me to places I have never been, but also most of the books I read helped build my character. One such book is the Little Red Hen.

Even after all these years I still recall the story of The Little Red Hen, and every now and again when things get difficult I remind myself of this story. My daughter, who is nine years old, becomes curious whenever I mention the little red hen. And then, once I mentioned that name, she makes me tell her the story…over and over again

Today, I want to share three lessons I learned from the little red hen while going through these challenging periods of my lives.

  1. The Only Approval You Need Is Your Own

Many times, we listen to what others have to say and if what they say contradicts our own thoughts we often become discourage. When we are pursuing our goals, some of are so accustomed to seeking approval that when we do not get it we fall into the frame of mind that if it is not approved it is not good. If you are seeking anyone else’s approval and not getting it from them, remember this one thing:

Do not depend on anyone’s approval to live your life. If you have a goal, idea, or a plan for your life, and you share it someone and that someone rejects your idea, this does not mean that you have to reject it. It is your idea, your vision. Keep your vision and work towards materializing it. Many times, we listen to what others have to say and if what they say contradicts our own thoughts and feelings we become discourage and give up.

 

  1. If You Are Waiting For Perfection You Will Wait In vain

Are there seed in your life that you want to sow but is hesitant about starting? More specifically, do you have an idea for something you want to do that you have been thinking about for some time but have not developed the courage to start?

Or do you have a fear that you do not have what it takes to do something you’ve always wanted to do?

You can visit this link for more practical lessons that can be learned from the Little Red Hen

You do not have to be perfect to start. Start anyway. The little redhead was not a professional farmer. But through sheer determination and a willingness to help herself, she was able to sow and reap from the grains she planted.

I had no clue what I was doing when I set out to do this blog. I was told by one so called friend that I was rushing things. I felt lonely. I felt overwhelmed, and those words of condemnation made me feel hopeless for a while. But, I was never one to give up. And so, despite my fears and feelings of inadequacy I started on this journey over one year ago. I am still learning but I give myself a little pat on my back for not succumbing to my fears and what others thought about me.

 

  1. Have A Plan For Your Life

If you want to live a fulfilling life you must have a plan for your life. The plan does not have to be perfect, but you must be able to say “this is what I want in my life.”

Your life may not be going too smoothly now but that does not mean that things will always remain the same. However, to ensure a better future you must make decisions and work towards carrying them out.  Like the little red hen, make it a priority to capitalize on your ideas, and plans, so that one day, the things you did will be of benefit to you.

Regardless to your circumstances now, it is never too late to develop healthy habits. And, one such habit is reading and encouraging others around you to read. You just never know where your next creative idea might spring from.

Please, I invite you to share your thoughts. Are there any character building stories that you have learned from?

Three Essentials For Living and Aging Gracefully

Three Essential Practices For Living and Aging Gracefully

There are many essentials to living and aging gracefully.  As you go about your life, think about the things that can help you enjoy life while facing challenging situations. Although life is challenging, your response to life’s challenges does not have to be negative. This blog by no means cover all of those essentials; however, there are three things I would like you to look consider doing habitually. These include;

If you do not feel like reading, you can check out the video version of this blog at this link.

Focusing On The Spiritual Aspect of Your life

Peace helps us with living and aging gracefilly

I believe that a healthy spiritual life is essential for living and aging gracefully. When you are living in the true essence of the word, it means that you have peace of mind and you are contented with where you are in life. You must realize that having everything do not mean you would be happy: at least not if we do not have peace of mind. You would never be content if you do not express gratitude. You also need to have a source to go to for revival of your internal energy and comfort; especially during challenging times.

Sometimes we might have everything that we ever wanted but we keep feeling as if something is missing. If this is happening to you, consider that your spiritual aspect of life may be lacking. Look at your spiritual well-being and make it a priority to feed this aspect. A healthy spiritual life would help to create that peace and stave that craving that you may find is currently lacking. You can read this article for suggestions on how to find peace and cope in difficult times.

When you focus more on your spiritual self, you will pay less attention to the material aspects of your life. Consequently, you will reduce the stress levels that you feel when you focus ONLY on the material things you desire.

Take time to pray, meditate and build a relations with the almighty, if you are a Christian. If you are not, find some way of connecting to your spiritual self.

 

Focusing On The Physical Aspect of Your Life

If you do not take care of your physical body, inner and outer, then this will affect a number of things in your life. For one, you are more at risk for developing acute and chronic illnesses usually triggered by lack of activity, and proper food intake, and/or decreased immune system.

What you put on the inside of your body will affect the outside of your body and your physical appearance. Take time to make sure that the majority of foods you eat are healthy. Pay attention to excess sugar, salt, and bad fats intake, as these have been known to contribute to low immune system(excess sugar), high blood pressure( excess salt intake), high cholesterol (bad fats), heart diseases among other diseases.

While you are busy taking care of everyone else, do not forget your self-care; taking care of your outward body. Sometimes we are so busy worrying about all our problems that we forget to take care of ourselves. Always take the time, as often as you can, to care for your hair, skin, nails, and lips. If you cannot afford to purchase body care products, make your own home remedies to save money: doing those things helps keep you looking youthful and aging gracefully.

Check out this article for the things that people do to help them age gracefully.

Focusing On The Environmental/Societal Relationships

Sometimes we are so busy we forget to live and appreciate the beauty around us. When was the last time you looked at your environment?  If you have not been doing so, find time to enjoy nature; walking star gazing, moon light relax, hiking, swimming and any outdoor activity. This physical activity and fresh air will contribute towards you living and aging gracefully.

If you hate your job or you are experiencing some relationship issue seek a positive outlet for this issue. Consider finding something you enjoy doing and focus on it. I read a blog recently where the writer shared her story about overcoming alcoholism. The story she shared is very inspiring. She overcame her addiction to drinking alcohol by focusing on something she felt passionate about doing.

Surround yourself with positive people who encourage you and make you laugh. Good company and laughter keeps you alive and helps you age gracefully.

Not because you are going through a challenging period in your life does not mean that you cannot take care of yourself. It is not that I expect anyone to pretend everything is all-good; however, you should not let your situation affect your response to the people you come into contact. Find a way to smile; it is not that you are faking anything; it is that you are helping to brighten someone else’s day despite your personal struggles. A smile is contagious. Share a smile more often than a frown.

What are other things that we can do help us in our journey to living and aging gracefully? Please share your comments below and remember to subscribe for more of these blogs.

Eight Reasons Why I Love My Mother

Eight Reasons Why I Love My Mother

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers across the globe! As a tribute to all the mothers around the world, I decided to write this blog. As I reflect on what it means to be a mother I think of my mother. Sometimes, it is easy to see the faults our mothers, but today, I choose to look at the positive things about my mother. and the reasons why I love her.

My mom had a difficult life. She has made mistakes like many of us. She allowed life to control her instead of analyzing her situation and coming up with a plan for her life.

Today, I take a step even further, so that I can understand why my mother’s life may have turned out the way it did. I recalled my mother telling me that her mother had her when she was very young, about fifteen or sixteen years old. Her mother went to England leaving her behind with her great grandmother who raised her. My mother became a mother at the age of sixteen or so. She did not finish her senior years in school because of her pregnancy.

As I reflect on how these circumstances must have influenced my mother’s choices, I did not spend some of my teen years with my mother, but I really cannot hold any grudge against her. Why? Because she may have had her faults, but she did the best she could. I believe that a child’s earliest memories are some of the most crucial. These memories have the ability to negatively or positively impact a child’s later years in life. And so, today, I will give you some of the main things my mother did in my childhood years that has helped shaped me in to the woman I am today. I hope that if you are having conflict with your mother because of the choices she has made, that you will consider for a moment, the things she did positively.

 

  1. My Mother Worked Hard.

She always tried to make sure that we had food to eat. Sometimes, she took us to the mountain with her. I recall many times when I sat in the shade of coconut and banana trees while my mother worked in the field. When I was old enough, I helped her and she always told me thanks for doing so. And so, no matter how I did not like going to the mountain, just the thought of my mother struggling alone made me give in.

Have your pick of quotes for your mom by clicking this link.

 

  1. She Instilled These Basic Principles In Us

Do not tell lies, she expected us to tell the truth at all times.  Do not idle, whenever she sent us to do something or we went to school, she expected us to return promptly. She told us never to beg others, to be satisfied with what we had. Do not be greedy, share with others. Even if you do not have, no one needs to know your business.

 

  1. She Sent Us To Church So That We Could Know God.

My mother was not a regular church goer, but she wanted us to hear the word of God. In those days the only other means we had of hearing God’s word was via radio.  Hearing the word of God helped me to keep my faith grounded in Him. Whenever troubles came my way, I knew where to turn. Some say that people only know God when they are in trouble, but what would you have someone do when they are in crisis? Would you prefer them to continue down the path of destruction, or seek solace in the word of God? How could I forget? My mother made sure that we said our prayers every morning and every night. And if we forgot she would remind us. It did not matter if we were already dozing off to sleep, we had to say our prayers and we had to say it loud.

 

  1. She Taught Us How To Do Be Independent.

At an early age we had to do house hold task including, sowing, cooking, washing, cleaning, and ironing. Today, I always made it my duty to do those things for myself. Even when I employed a sitter for my daughter, I never included doing laundry/washing, cleaning or ironing in her duties.

 

Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled; they are the ones that never give up, dispet the struggles~Sharon Jaynes

  1. I Saw My Mother As My Friend.

Some will argue that my mother should not have confided things in me at such a young age. But, looking back, I think this is one of the best things she has ever done. Not only did she helped me decide what I did not want my life to turn out like, but also, she helped me understand her better. My mother had a hard time showing love. I cannot recall her ever hugging or kissing me. But, from our conversations, I knew that she loved us. She just did not know how to express that love.

As I listened to my mother talked about her worries, I made mental notes that when I grew up I was going to help her. The only thing that helped keep me determined in my life was that I was never going to go through what my mother went through. I guess it is because of my mother confiding her troubles in me that has helped me develop compassion for others when they are facing difficulties.

Some folks argue that a mother is not supposed to be a child’s friend, but, it depends on the context  in which we look at things. My mother’s friendship did not include the adult things in her life. I was never allowed to get involve in adult conversation or things which did not concern children. My mother knew where to draw the line.

  1. She Was Very Protective Of All Her Children.

My mother never allowed anyone to take advantage of us. She made sure to tell us never to interfere with others. But, she expected us to stand up for our right. She rebuked us when we were wrong and she defended us when we were right.

 

  1. My Mother Was  Good With Handling Money

She took her time to save and bought us the things we needed.  Every Christmas, she bought a present for us. She never wanted us to feel deprived when other children were playing with their toys so she made sure that she bought us something. It did not matter the cost of what she bought, the thought counted the most!

 

  1. Our Education Was Important.

Despite the fact that my mother did not always have money, she always found a way to send us to school. She helped us with our homework, when we did not understand and would force us to study.

She made sure that our clothes were ironed and our hair was groomed. And, it did not matter how cold the water was, we had to bathe and brush our teeth.

When I consider all the things that my mother may not have done right,  those things paled in comparison to what she did right. She did the best she could based on her circumstances and today, I can proudly say that I Love You Mom. You are the reasons why I am what I am today.