Tag Archives: life

Six Secrets to Successful Dating and Relationships

Six Secrets to Successful Dating and Relationships

 

Are you thinking about going back into the dating game? Are you currently dating someone? Are you having issues in your relationship? What is your opinion about love, dating, and relationships? Have you found it difficult to get past the initial stages of dating?

Today I want to discuss six key aspects of dating that could help you turn your relationships around and make your experiences in dating a positive one. You see, many of us are searching for that special someone to share our lives with; however, some of us find it challenging to make even our dating successful. Below I share with you the secrets to successful dating or building relationships, which are not really secrets at all because we know these things, we just do not remember to use them in our lives.

  1. The Level of Interest in the Person You are Dating

One of the first things that you should consider when you decide to date someone is your level of interest in the person and the person’s level of interest in you.

Sometimes, we date for the wrong reasons. Some of us date for fame, physical looks, sexual intercourse, money and material convenience and so on. If you are only interested in what the person have and not the individual, then dating this person will not last. Before you decide to take your dating relationship to the next level, consider what would happen if the person loses the things that you were attracted to in the first place.

In order for dating to be successful, both individuals must have a genuine interest in each other and not just what each brings to the table. Relationships are not fairytales, it takes hard work to make it work and if there is no genuine interest in each other, neither of you will have the interest to do the work when the going gets tough.

  1. The Level of Honesty for Each Other

In order for a relationship to work, both of you need to be honest from the start. Now, I am not saying that you should tell the other person all of your dirty little secrets from day one, no. What I am saying is that both of you should be honest about what you are looking for if you were to take the dating phase to the next level. Ask your date what he or she is looking for at that time. Are you looking for a fling, a one-night stand, or a meaningful relationship? Likewise, be honest about your intentions so that both of you are on the same page.

Being honest about your intentions from the onset allows both of you to make informed decisions regarding whether you continue seeing each other or walking away before someone gets hurt. Things that last must have a good foundation to begin with and being honest with your partner is a something that you shoul practice and expect from each other. A relationship built on lies will not last.

Is Honesty the Best Policy?

 

  1. The Level of Consistency in the Dating/Relationship

When you and another person decide to date each other there must be consistency in terms of how you treat each other, the time you spend together and in your conversations. Without consistency the level of trust you have for that person will not develop.

For instance, if you are dating someone and that person tells you he/she loves you, but does not spend quality time with you because he/she always claims to be busy, your level of trust in that person will dwindle. Naturally, as your trust in that person decreases, so would your confidence in the relationship.

It is so common, in the beginning, for the two of you to spend time together; however, after you have confessed your feelings the other person might take you for granted thinking he/she has arrived. This is the point where you can become anxious because you are not feeling as his/her priority anymore. You may be tempted to lash out in anger, but hold up. Instead of lashing out, have a conversation.

If you are in a long distance relationship and it is difficult to reach the person by calling then construct a well thought out voice note letting the person know how you feel. Instead of accusing or blaming, own your feelings. Let the person know that you appreciated what you had but for some reason you are not feeling as connected, lately. Let the person know that you would like for both of you to spend some time together as you did in the beginning. Do not beg, do not plead, just state your feelings in a calm way and let them know you are looking forward to hearing from them, then allow them to get back to you. The nature of the person’s response, and/or how long they take to respond and what the person does next will help you decide if the person is interested in continuing the relationship.

Use your intuition to help you decide; a relationship should not make you cry all the time, there should be more happy moments than unhappy ones.

 

  1. The Level of Respect You Have and Show for That Person

Let us face it; we all mess up sometimes. Sometimes we say and do things that we do not mean.  Sometimes, we may not even realize we are being disrespectful, until the other person points out the problem to us. Being respectful is not just about saying things in a polite manner, it is also about you being patient with the other person when you think  you’ve been wronged you. Before accusing the person, give him/her a chance to speak and explain self. Sometimes, we may be so engulf in our own selfish needs that we do not stop to think that the person may have a genuine reason why they did not call, or did not do something we expected them to do.

Show appreciation for the things your partner does; this will encourage him/her to do better.  Try not to focus on the negatives and the next time your partner messes up, give him/her a chance to explain and simply listen before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes, because of our pasts experiences we tend to jump the gun and imagine things that are not there.

 Click Here  for some tips for women from men regarding dating

 

  1. The Level of Patience You Exercise With Each Other

Relationships take hard work in order to be successful. When I was a teen and in my twenties, I had the preconceived notion that relationships were like in the movies and romance books I have read. Later on as my relationships failed one by one, I realized that unless two people are patient with each other, the relationship would not get past the dating stage.

In the dating stage, it is easy and everything flows smoothly. However, at the first sign of a problem one partner decides to bolt without even trying to work things out. We have the mentality that the grass is always greener on the other side, but we ought not to think this way. If we keep running away when minor problems occur, we would never have a successful relationship. Chances are, the same problems you encounter in the relationship you ran away from, will be similar to the ones you encounter with the next person you run to.

Unless there is abuse or something that will harm you (mentally, physically, emotionally or otherwise), why not stop looking for the next best thing and make what you have work? As long as the two of you are committed, you will be able to overcome the hurdles that come with being in a relationship.

6 The Level Of Acceptance For Each Other

You should never try to change the person you fall in love with because it will backfire. Allow and accept the person for who they are or simply leave them and move on.

This is not to say that you would not encourage the person to improve where necessary, but not in a way that is controlling or trying to dominate for the sake of one partner feeling good about him or herself. We are all unique and we all deserve love for who we are and not what other people want us to be.

By the same token, do not allow your partner to change you into someone you don’t want to be. Before you met him/her, you had a life, you had your unique interests and hobbies. It is crucial that you do not center your entire world around your partner. While it is important to have interests in what each other does, it is also important to maintain your own interest so you have something that makes you happy outside of the relationship.

 

These tips are not just for the dating stage, but also to be practiced throughout your relationship so that you and your partner can avoid some of the biggest issues that arise when misunderstandings are not addressed as they arise. Remember “Don’t let it fester.”

Do you have anymore tips for dating and relationships? If so, please, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.

 

Six Habits To Adapt For A Less Complicated Life

 

A short video of Fort James Anitgua . Enjoy 🙂

Six Habits To Adapt For A Less Complicated Life

 

Life is not easy. However, it is up to each of us to make it as simple as possible.  I for one have a habit of thinking too much and imagining things even though they are not real. I guess my whole intention is to control everything so that I do not get hurt or disappointed. Well, for the past year, I have been working on this tendency to overthink. Here are three things that I do to help myself stay grounded

 

  1. Do not waste time engaging in pointless arguments. Accept that people are always going to have their opinions about a situation and you may not necessarily have similar views. While arguments can be healthy and lead to different levels of productivity and creativity, you have to pick your arguments carefully.

Not everything people say or do warrants a response. If the argument is going to drain you of energy and is pointless, then let it be. One such argument is a situation in which someone says something offensive to you. Even though their words might affect you, it does not mean that you need to retaliate. Sometimes, we need to look at a person’s attitude and realize that the person is the one with the problem.

 

See 28 Ways to Stop Complicationg Your Life at this link

  1. Know when to let go. Sometimes we encounter people and situations that cause us pain, but rather than letting go and moving on, we keep holding on for that which is not good for us. Some battles are just not yours to fight; as soon as you realize there is nothing you can do learn to let it go. Let go of past wrongs, forgive others of their wrongs and most of all forgive yourself and move on. Life is too short to live in misery. Seek a peaceful alternative, always.

 

12 Ways To Live Blisfully At Forty & Beyond

  1. Practice gratitude and daily prayer. Prayer takes care of your spiritual needs and helps to keep you grounded. Once your spiritual needs are met then everything else becomes secondary. Be grateful for what you have. It is easy to feel as though you lack certain things in your life and you need them in order to be happy.

 

habits for a less complicated life

However, once you learn not to attach happiness to material things, but rather to a state of inner well-being, your life will be easier. Do not focus on what you do not have; this will only intensify the feelings of unhappiness. Instead, learn to appreciate the little you have while taking steps improve your situation. The happiest people do not necessarily have material riches. The happiest people are those with a peace of mind.

 

4. Live in the moment. Worrying about tomorrow will rob you of the joy you can feel today. When tomorrow comes then you take care of tomorrow. Life is already challenging. Why waste your time worrying about what has not even occurred. Yes, it is good to have plans and to put measures in place in case of emergencies; however, you should not let this stop you from enjoying the here and now. You are not even sure you will live to see the morrow, so why worry about it.

 

  1. Be kind and loving to yourself and others. One of the things we have a difficult time doing is being kind when we are going through difficult times. However, as I have found, being kind actually helps increase your feelings of happiness. When you are less critical of yourself and others, your life becomes more relaxed. Relax. It is okay not to be perfect and to make mistakes.

 

  1. Learn how to help others without feeling burdened by their stress. As human beings, we feel for others when they are experiencing hardships. However, just because we empathize with their situation does not mean that we should allow their situation to make us feel overwhelmed. If we allow their situation to burden us then we would never be able to be of assistance. There are times when we may cry with others, but we need to remind ourselves that the only way we can be of help is to remain focused and separate our feelings from the situation.

 

 

12 Ways To Live Blissfully At Forty & Beyond


12 Ways To Live Blissfully At Forty & Beyond

Welcome to forty! That is what I intend to tell myself when I get there in another couple of months. Unlike some people who do not want to die, but dread the thought of aging, I am truly looking forward to embracing my forty.
This feeling of anticipation was not always there because when I was much younger I dreaded the thought of aging. In my 20s, I dreaded turning thirty and for a few years into my 30s, I dreaded turning 40 years old.
I think it was the physical and mental signs associated with old age that got me feeling anxious about the prospect of getting old. Almost everyone I know had this fear of aging. Therefore, I guess I inherited it. Then something happened. I realized that we wear our age better when we embrace it rather than denying it. Here are 12 ways that can help you live blissfully past forty.

1. Do Realize That Aging Is A Blessing Not A Curse

I realized that getting older is a blessing and not a curse. After all, if you did not get old it therefore means that you will die young. In addition, who wants to die before completing his or her purpose on earth? I for one was not going to wish aging away, because doing so may take me faster to meet the grim reaper. All the more reason to look forward to forty

2. Do Not Focus On The Aging Process

Instead of thinking about how old you are getting, concentrate on doing things with your life. One who is busy living surely does not have time to watch the appearance of gray hairs and wrinkles. Instead, one focuses on finding and doing things that makes oneself and others happy. Besides, the activity keeps you mentally sharp. Be curious, be adventurous and try doing something you have never done before. Read books, find new hobbies, simply explore! Make forty and beyond amzing!

3. Do Not Focus On Others

Make a decision that you are not going to care about how young other people are, because, your age does not determine how well you live nor how your life is going to be. Life is more about your ability to live, laugh, and embrace whatever comes your way. With your past experiences, being forty opens up a whole new world of opportunities.

 

4. Find Your Purpose

Life is finding that purpose for which you are on the earth and being busy in its fulfillment. Life is also about making that purpose a blessing to others. You also have a responsibility to show your successors that forty is not scary.

“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” ~ C.S.Lewis

5. Embrace Your Spirituality

The material things in life will make you happy, but only for a while. However, if you embrace the spiritual side of life, this will bring you peace, comfort, joy and blend nicely with the good things around you. I think life is most definitely about embracing our spiritual being and living in a manner that is pleasing to the Almighty God and as such influencing others to emulate your actions.

6. Think About Your Legacy

What legacy would you like to leave behind? How would you like the people that knew you to remember you? At the end of the day, your age would not matter. How you lived your life is what really counts in the end.

7. Be Thankful For Your Life

What are the things you have done so far that you feel thankful? Think about those and if you do not like what you found, start making the necessary changes. It is never too late to start over.
As I near forty, I am thankful for every experience I have had. The good experiences have brought joy to my life and those around me, dear to me. Moreover, the bad experiences have made me much stronger than I have ever thought I would be.

Want To Age Gracefully? Avoid These 7 Things

8. Have A Small Circle Of Friends

There is no aging gracefully without having friends. Imagine how boring it would be if you had no one to have genuine conversations with…How would you feel hanging by yourself all of the time?
I am also thankful for the few friendships and people who have been a part of my life. For those who have stayed and for those who moved on.

Three Essentials For Living And Aging Gracefully

9. Think about You Greatest Achievement

What are your greatest achievements? What are the things you did that makes you feel most pride when you reflect on your life thus far? I have accomplished some material things. My greatest achievement was my ability to be a mother to my children and to help others; it is in these two things that I have found the most joy. The two things that have influenced my desire to be a better person are the love for my children and for people in general. I desire to be a better person and as forty gets closer, I have no problems saying good-bye to 39.

10. Take Care Of Yourself

No matter how much you try, eventually the signs of aging will appear. However, this should not stop you from taking care of yourself. Eat healthy as much as possible, pay attention to your grooming, and get some activity in your daily life. Change your style of dressing to suit your age and personality. Be elegant and graceful!

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

11. Prepare For Retirement

If you have not been doing so, you seriously should consider saving for retirement. There is nothing like getting older and having to depend on others for a living. Studies claim that stress contributes to aging and diseases; as you get older, the threat of becoming ill will is even greater without adding money worries to the table.

Is Turning 40 Something To Celebrate?

12. Stop Thinking About What Others Will Think

As you age, you should get more confident and brave. You should not have to be walking on eggshells trying to please everyone else but yourself. As long as you are living with integrity and not doing anything illegal, you should not have to pretend to be someone else.

Have any suggestions for embracing and living blissfully past forty? If so, please share in the comments section below.

How To Stay Focused During Challenging Times

How To Stay Focused During Challenging Times

 

Staying focused when we are experiencing challenging times is in itself a challenge. But, although staying focused is in itself a challenge, we realize that we must not let our situations get the best of us. Regardless to what is going on us, we have to find a way to cope and stay focused on what we want to achieve in our lives. Whether our goal is a physical, spiritual, financial, or relationship goal, we need to foucs in order to attain it. Today, want to share with you a few things I do to help me stay focused when going through challenging times. Here is an article that can also help you on staying focused. Click here to read.

  1. Concentrate On Finding Solutions and Not on The Problem

By now, we have all proven that worrying never solved our problems. Today I urge you to focus your energy on finding solutions to your problems instead of focusing on the problem itself. If there is any truth in the theory “whatever an individual focuses on grows” then you should focus on positive things rather than negative. Instead of staying focused on what does not work, shift your attention to finding things that work. Even if you do not have an immediate answer, do not despair, keep trying. With persistence comes success.

2. Take One Day At A Time

When we are in challenging situations and we look too far in to the future it causes much anxiety. In your moments of despair, do not torture yourself by looking too far ahead. Instead of wondering how things are going to work for you, concentrate on the moment. Do what you can in the moment. Distract your thoughts by occupying yourself with something meaningful such as reading a book, taking a walk, going to the beach, meditating/praying, listening to something inspirational such as preaching or motivational speaking. Most of all, work on your goals.

I can recall my experiences over these past two and a half years. I struggled emotionally to the point of despair. Sometimes I’d get so anxious just thinking about the future. My future looked bleak. With all the rejection I have had in the past two plus years, I was really feeling hopeless. But, then, I realized that these negative thoughts were not helping me. Instead, I began doing things daily that helped keep me occupied and were relevant to the goals I had set for myself. When I changed my strategy, my entire way of thinking gradually shifted and so did the sense of despair.

Action is the antidote to despair. – Joan Baez

3. Believe In A Higher Power

One of the most popular phrase that people tell us when they are trying to encourage us is to “believe in yourself.” I do agree with this encouragement, but I need to add another line to this, that is “believe in a higher power than you.”

Through my difficult moments, I refused to believe that everything in my life that I had done was in vain. I knew I needed a miracle to turn things around for me. But I also knew that I had to use the talents that God gave me in order to make things happen in my life. I had to believe that God wanted what was best for me. I also believed in His words, He will never leave me nor forsake me. Sometimes, I would talk to God and tell him I needed a miracle. Today, I am witnessing my miracle (s) things are not perfect, but what has been happening in my life is not just a feeling, but also the changes have become physically evident.

4. Continue Persevering Despite Your Circumstances

When you are going through a challenging situation, you can easily feel discouraged; especially if the situation has been going on for a long period of time. After a while, of seemingly beating your head against the wall of problems, you become tired. The temptation then becomes greater, and you feel the urge to give up. But, do not give up. Hang in there!

As humans, we tend to place more hope and faith in the things that are visible to us; however, we have to realize that sometimes there is simply no outward evidence of how well we are doing. In order for us to assess our growth, in the absence of physical evidence, we have to turn inward and reflect on what is happening inside of us. Ask yourself questions such as “How do I feel now compared to when my problems first started? “ Has anything change; for example in the way I think, respond or view my circumstances and life as a whole?” Is what I am doing positively affecting the people around me?”

Your answers to the questions you asked yourself will be the only evidence as to whether you are going in the right direction. If you do not like the answers, it means that you may need to seek a second opinion from someone who is not biased. It also means that you may need to reflect on what you have been doing and change course if necessary.

One thing to know is that when things are working for you and you are not seeing any physical evidence, there will still be a sense of satisfaction within you. Also, if you are on the right path, it is more likely that what you are doing will be helping others around you. Be patient with yourself. Everything takes time, so do not expect that things will change without much hard work.

All the best in your future endeavor. Please take a moment o share this post with someone. Comments are also highly appreciated.

A Poem of Hope: I will rise

I pen this poem of hope:I will rise

Though, life struggles may get me down

And the burden and strife

 May bend me to the ground

                                                                                            

I will rise, if only but slowly

From the pain of life blows

Dealt on my mind and my body

Life wounds I bear, but only God Knows

 

I will rise, even when my body seems 

Not to obey what my spirit is saying

The self-defeating thoughts that creep

In, the tricks my fickle mind is playing

 

I will rise, from the depths of my misery

Despite the struggles, I will overcome

How I do it amazes even me

For, it is not I who is responsible for my victory

 


I will rise, because I refuse to be

A victim of circumstances or society

I will rise because I, with the strength of the

 Almighty, have been rescued from what I should not be

The Secret to Living A Balanced Life

 

Exploring nature, finding peace
Your inner tranquility is just as important as the outer scenery.

 

Are you truly living your life? On the other hand, do you just exist? To answer this question, one must ask themselves many questions including, “What have I done lately, outside of my normal job and family responsibilities? What have I done for fun? What have I done to help someone else? When was the last time I had a great conversation with someone just for the pleasure of connecting?  Am I able to find a balance between all of my commitments and responsibilities?

There was a time when I thought I had to accomplish my professional goals in order to really live, and be happy. I thought I had to have a certain amount of money in my bank account in order to do fun things. I could not see myself taking a break to go on a vacation, or simply going for a swim when I had so much work to do. I hardly found time to have a good conversation. For a time, doing schoolwork while traveling was unthinkable.  It was not until the pressure got so bad, I realized I had to find a way to balance my life in order to live and not just exist. If you wish to join me on the journey of finding a balance between life and work, here are a few things I did in those busy periods of my life.

Find Your Purpose and Do Something You Enjoy Doing Each Day

I know it is hard to find time to fit in something you love to do in to your busy life while raising kids, family responsibilities, and work. We often hear we should work in a job we enjoy; however, we know how difficult this can be in today’s difficult job market.  While working at what you do, I urge you to spend time contemplating your purpose in life. Keep searching for the one thing, which will bring you joy even when you are in difficult situations. What is it you would like to do or become in this life?

Meanwhile you are waiting for your dream job, why not take a few minutes of your busy schedule to read the book you borrowed from the library six months ago but never read? Perhaps, you may like to consider going for an evening walk on a Sunday instead of sitting at home, and grieving about how you hate working on Mondays? Why not find some time to have meaningful conversations (with your older relative, a friend, or your children) because you really wish to converse with other human beings? Here is a link to an article containing some of the philosophies by a Jim Rohn, which I found very enlightening http://www.success.com/mobile/article/rohn-a-good-life-contains-these-6-essentials.

 

My daughter loves hearing about the Tom Sawyer-Like adventures I had, when I was little, and I love telling them to her. Sometimes, I will pause from what I was doing and repeat one of these favorite stories to my daughter. Her favorite stories are when I fell from a tree, and my fight with a boy named T… No, I do not encourage her to get in to fights; to her these are just tales.

Consider Taking Vacation at Least Once a Year

Most of us work in stressful environments;however, each person’s level of stress will differ. Regardless to the level of stress you experience, there are times when taking a break is the answer to distressing. Have you ever found something you were trying to figure out difficult and when you took a break then had another go at it you easily figured out the problem? This is how I view the workplace. I believe that regardless to the level of stress you feel, taking vacation time away can help you see things clearly. During your downtime, you are able to relax, have fun, and reflect on your way forward.

Sometimes, all we need is a brief change of pace, a different environment, and different people. Seeing and experiencing the same environment and people every day without a break is bound to be stressful, especially if there is conflict. Even if you do not have money to travel outside of your country, going to another place within the country, and talking to different people outside your workplace can be very beneficial.

Waiting on a flight to take me from Atlanta to Orlando
Getting school work done while traveling

I recall not too long ago, when I was studying online, working full-time, and taking care of my young daughter,  I thought I could not take a vacation because of my obligations. One day, I realized that I can take a vacation if I planned it properly. Instead of waiting until the last minute, I planned for my vacation 2 years in advance.

I took a few weeks off and stayed at home during that two-year period. When my time came to travel, I was able to take two weeks away from work, had my son fly up to meet us, then went on a vacation while my school’s semester was in full swing. I did not need to defer the course, or neglect any aspect of my life once I made my plans. After this initial vacation, having a vacation became easier than I could have imagined.Here are Nine Steps to Planning an Enjoyable Vacation

 

Make it a Priority to Address Your Financial Health

One of the biggest contributors to stress in life is money. Almost everything we do involves some sort of money. While some people have become very successful, to the point where they do not have financial problems, some of us live from paycheck to paycheck.  In addition, some of us are unemployed and have no clue where our next meal is coming from. If you are unemployed, I feel for you and encourage you to get up and seek; do not just sit and think that our superior being will provide. Unless we help ourselves, we will not get the help we need. You know the saying, “Faith without works is dead.” What are you doing to improve your circumstances?

If you are working, then you should make it a priority to develop good health financially. For, if you are not healthy in your financial affairs, it will eventually spill over into physical health problems. My father asks me all the time, “How do you survive after being unemployed for almost two years? My answer is always, ”It is by the grace of God.” The truth is, while I was working, I made it a priority to be healthy in my finances; just as I am in my physical and spiritual being.

I did not lavish my money on every popular trend. I bought brand clothing when they were on sale. I rented hotel rooms at discounted prices, I shopped around online for the cheapest flights, and I avoided regular nightlife, which can make you spend more than you have. I saved the same sum of money,when I get paid, on a monthly basis. I ate healthy, which saved me on doctor’s appointments. I bought groceries and cooked my own meals instead of eating out. I sought financial counseling, and I read every article I could find on how to manage one’s personal finances. The list of things I did to become financially healthy is numerous. I promise I will do a separate article on how to become financially healthy. The key is to live within your means, and invest in things, which can be assets in the case of a financial emergency.

 Make it a Priority to Address Your Physical Health

Even though most of us will agree that our health is our wealth, some of us find it difficult to put this phrase in to practice. Rather than eating healthy, exercising, and finding helpful methods to distress, we do the opposite of what we know will work.

eating a healthy meal goes a long way
eating a healthy meal goes a long way

As a rule, I make it a priority to learn a few health benefits of every food I eat, or every drink I have. Even while unemployed, I still manage to eat healthy. For me, moderation is key.There are times when I may stray and have a little of the unhealthy stuff  like cakes, ice creams, fried chicken, and Ju-c, but the majority of times, I pay attention to what I put in my body. I may not get to exercise daily, but I walk instead of riding a van on a frequent basis.

 

 

Do not let physical activity and what you eat be all about just losing weight. Sometimes, we may not see the evidence we wish, but it does not mean we are being healthful in vain. Overtime, we reap what we sow.  I may feel stressed at times, but I know when to quit worrying; I remind myself I need to live in the present instead of looking back or fast-forwarding too much.

Embrace the Spiritual Aspects of Life

Regardless of how much we try to cope with the stresses in our daily lives we all have moments when we feel as if we have had enough. Sometimes, coping is simply not enough: especially when ordinary things we do for fun fail to make us feel at peace. Have you ever felt stressed and decided to go to a party, or drink some alcohol in hopes of feeling better? You went out but after the moment of joy passed you found yourself back where you were before doing that fun thing…totally stressed out.

I remember the days when I loved partying until dawn. I was unemployed at the time and was often worried about my situation. Every Friday night, I would go to a party, but then during the week my stressful feelings returned. Eventually, I had a job but there was still stress to deal with. You see, some of us believe that stress is absent after we have achieved our heart’s desire. However, after having what we craved, we find something else to stress about.And so, the pattern of stress continues. Go here if you want to Learn How to Cope and Maintain Inner Peace In Difficult Times 

 

After realizing that no amount of fulfilled desire was going to make me stress-free, I decided to seek solace in something other than what this physical world had to offer. I decided to take a more serious approach to the spiritual world. To seek wisdom from many of the books, which teach us about the spiritual aspects of our lives. I will read bible verses and reflect on the lives of those who lived before us. I especially love the period when Jesus walked the earth. I also enjoy reading daily from a book written By Juan O. Perla: Always Joyful: Experiencing God’s Love. These books help me view life beyond what the material aspects of life offer. I am able to find meaning, hope, and solace when I reflect on life from a spiritual perspective. When I do this on a regular basis, I feel more at peace, content, and balanced. Personally, the spiritual aspect of my life is the most important. Without this, I feel as if I am in a constant state of off-balance.

 

In everything we do, the key is moderation…striking that balance between all that we do. Sometimes, I find it difficult to create that balance, but each time I stray, I try my best to get back in to the rhythm where I feel satisfied that I did not just live for myself, but for others as well.  What do you do to help you live a fulfilling life? Please share your experiences and thoughts in the comments section below. You can also check out this short inspiring video, dying to live.

 

What Effect Does Music Have On You?

Soothing our soul is a must

When things around are affecting us

Our experiences which cause us pain

And make us realize there is nothing to gain

 

Music, one of the most powerful gifts in life

It inspires, it uplifts, it makes us thrive

Woke up this morning with this song on my mind

Cornerstone, a powerful song by Hillsong, so sublime

 

The true rhythm of this music is

As soothing as a mother’s kiss

The softness it creates inside

Makes us realize that we will abide

 

There is nothing more blissful

Than a soothing song

That shelters our souls from the cruel

And makes us persevere and realize we are strong

Figure Out the Confusion and Find Direction In Life

COMPLETE THE JOURNEY, Quitting is not an oprtion
Life Can be challenging sometimes, but be patient and try to figure out the confusion

Figure out the Confusion and Find Direction in Life. As I reflect on my past, I must acknowledge that the most challenging periods of my life were late childhood, teenage, and early adulthood. At this age, I was faced with confusion and had so many challenges and so little resources to help me figure them out. In my late teen years, after I became a teenage mother I decided to associate with the people who lived on the streets. No to do what they were doing, but to learn how they lived. I realized there was so much I did not know. 

Even though I realized that there was no way that a person can absolutely avoid difficult periods in life, I knew there were ways in which a person can overcome them. All I needed to do was find out what I the confusion was all about. Through experience and observing others, I have come up with five tips to help you figure out the confusion and find direction in life.  .

Know You Are Worthy Regardless of Your Financial Status

I used to attach my self-worth to material things. I grew up thinking that in order for me to be recognized as somebody I had to have material things such as car, money, house, land, a career and be associated with people who were popular. And though I thought all of these things, I decided to myself that if I were to own any of these things it will be by the sweat of my brow. Nevertheless, I wish someone had told me I did not need these things in order to be worthy. That I was worthy from the day I was born.

In order to escape from reality, I would turn inward and find solace in my own world. A world I created for myself. A world where I was a princess, I had everything, and was loved for who I am. Even at that age, I knew what was missing in my life. And, as difficult as it was to get by each day, my realization that there was more to life than what I was experiencing kept me pushing through those painful moments.

Whenever you find yourself feeling low in confidence and self-worth, always remember that you are a unique being. You may lack all the material comforts that others have, but it does not make you a lesser person. While material comforts are great to have, it should not be attached to how you feel about yourself. You are who you are with or without the riches. So, concentrate on being the best you there can be.

Some of the most beautiful people I have met have a history of being poor, deprived, and from broken homes. It is through their experiences that they became successful. Through their experiences that they made treating people with kindness and dignity a priority over material things.

 

Be Strong Enough to Say No

One of the best things that can happen to us is when we develop the ability to say no without feeling guilty about doing so. Until we learn to say no, we will always be a puppet and dance to other people’s tune. When you say no, be prepared to meet resistance and name calling from those you said no to. Don’t worry, after saying no for the first time, you will find it easier to say the next time around. And you know what? Nothing anyone says will override your decision unless you have a genuine change of heart of your own accord.

While some people are easily swayed by the people they associate with. I have always had a mind of my own. I do not allow myself to be swayed unless I feel the need to. It does not matter how much name calling or ridicule come my way, I would not be budged into making a choice based on what others think. When I make a decision, it is because I have analyzed every aspect of the issues involved and see that it is the best interest of those involved, including myself…I found this article from The Muse, while on twitter,it makes for a very interesting read: 5 Habits to Help You Feel in Control of Your Life.

 

I can recall at 20 years old being offered $3000 dollars to transport marijuana to another country. I did not have a penny to my name, but with an inner sense of responsibility, integrity, and my great sense of wrong from right, I refused. I said to the person “I have never traveled in a plane before and I am not going to make my first trip transporting illegal drugs.”

 

Remember The Guiding Principles

As I reflect on my past, I realized that I was a lost soul back then. Lack of proper parenting during my teen years, growing up in a dysfunctional home with a stepfather who drank alcohol, and my real father missing in my life was not an easy thing for me. My mother only taught me about the good things, she never taught me about the negative things which can happen to me. Don’t get me wrong though, I do not think that this omission was deliberate, but rather a lack of knowledge on my mother’s part. 

To give credit to my mother, she taught me the basic principles on which I have built my foundation today. She taught me to pray before I sleep, to say thank you when someone was kind to me, to share even when I had very little, to be kind and helpful to others, to greet others when I pass them by, to be honest, never steal, and to always tell the truth. She was poor, but it never stopped her from ensuring that we lived by these Godly principles.

I Made prayer a habitual part of my life so that when I felt hopeless I found comfort in reading passages from the bible.

Even as I grew older, these principles have been the key to my survival and how I relate to others. It is these principles that kept me afloat while I struggle through the pain, darkness, and hard times.

 

Figure Out the Confusion by Seeking  Wisdom

cOMPLETE THE JOURNEY, Quitting is not an oprtion
Sometimes through the confusion, direction is found in the rockiest places.

While some parents believe in sheltering their children from the ugly things which happen around us, I am of the view that as a child grows we ought to teach them based on their level of understanding. For if we do not teach them about the bad things which can happen to them and how to deal with certain situations our children run the risk of suffering more than they would have, if they were educated beforehand.

Young people, I say to you, education is not just about academics. You’ve got to be educated about what is happening in the environment around you. To help you figure out the confusion, learn to socialize with others outside of your immediate environment.

Everyone has a story you just never know what you might learn. Embrace the elders in your community, they too have valuable lessons to teach. Listen to the news regularly and take time to read books, articles, blogs, and anything that is readable. Sometimes you do not need to have a real experience to be informed about it. Reading broadens your horizons and help you develop your thinking and analytical skills.

 

When ever there is confusion, always remember to reflect before acting out. Just because someone else smokes or drinks alcohol does not mean you have to do the same thing. Just because someone steals or bullies others it does not mean that you have to. And, even though your friends are all sexually active it does not mean that something is wrong with you if you have never had sexual intercourse. Whenever you encounter a conflicting situation reflect on the principles which your parent(s) taught you. Imagine the worst case scenario and whether you are prepared to live with the consequences of your actions.

 

Be Easy On Yourself

Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes. But I am here to tell you that while it is good if we all can avoid making mistakes, it is not the end of the world if you do. I can tell you from my own experiences that when you make a mistake you might face ridicule from others, you may cry your heart out, you may even feel as if your whole life has ended. But, guess what? You really do not have the luxury of lying down and die. After you have made your mistake your only option should be picking up the pieces and moving on. For Christ’s sake, what is wrong with you? You have so much life to live…stop being hard on yourself.

Whatever situation you are facing in your life, know that you are not alone. Someone out there may have faced or is currently experiencing a similar situation. Know when to seek help and advice from others. Sometimes talking to someone can give you another perspective than the one you have. All you need to do is reach out, be patient, and walk steadily through those difficult periods. Every journey has an end as long as you don’t quit…