Four Reasons Why You Should Never Pretend
In today’s world where so many people are trying to live up to the expectations of others, being real is so refreshing. Along with the other stresses that life throws at us, why pretend to be someone than who you are, really. Before you decide to pretend, ask yourself, “what advantages are there in not operating from my authentic self? Isn’t it better for others to love me for whom I am than to be loved for who I pretend to be? Can I really keep up with the hard work of pretending to be someone else? Below, I give you several reasons why it is better to be who you truly are than to pretend to be whom you are not, regardless of who does not approve of you.
When You Do Not Pretend You Experience Genuine Growth
When you come from a place of authenticity, it means that you have accepted yourself the way you are and you are not afraid to show the flawed aspects of yourself to those you love or even those with whom you come in contact. In accepting yourself, you become aware of your strengths and your weaknesses; this enables you to conduct ongoing self-assessment, which leads to self-growth. Personally, I do not think anyone can truly grow if he/she is operating from a state of pretense. You can only grow by critical reflection of who you are and accepting even the parts of yourself that you do not like.
You Can Be Yourself and Not Be Afraid of Being Judged
By choosing not to pretend, you give yourself permission to be true to you and never be afraid of what others may think about you. At first, being real will make you feel vulnerable and you not being accepted by those who cannot accept the real you. The very fact that you decide to be different will definitely not sit well with everyone, especially those who like to control other people. As you practice being real, you will be opening up yourself to people who may not like what they see. Some people will even try to remind you of your past and the things you did. Be prepared to develop a backbone that would not bend under the pressure of confirming to the status quo.
To Pretend is Hard Work
When you pretend you are like someone wearing a mask. When you go out in the public, you cloak yourself with this mask and you have the constant need to do and say things that do not represent who you are deep within you. After a while, the effort of pretending will take its toll and leave you drained. In the comforts of your home, you will remove the mask and when you look in the mirror all you will see is a person who is disgusted with him/herself.
On the other hand, if you chose to be real then you do not need to try so hard. You will be able to find joy in stating your views and in doing whatever you wish without fear that someone will find you out.
You Save Yourself Potential Problems
When you pretend the risk the chance of others thinking you are someone else. Let us say you meet someone and later this person realizes you are not whom you pretended to be all along, your actions would end up hurting that person when he/she finds out.
By you not pretending, you allow other people to get to know the real you and you them. When people know that you are real, they get to decide if they want to keep on associating with you or walk away. Likewise, you get to determine if the other person appreciates you for who you truly are as a person. In essence, being real sets the foundation for healthy relations.
Operating from an authentic place may leave you vulnerable to being hurt so it is up to you to protect yourself. Remember, not everyone has the right to be in your life. You are the one who has to make the choice of whom you wish to associate. In a professional work setting, you cannot decide who your colleagues are, but you can choose the quality of your relationship with them.
At the end of the day, be vigilant, let others earn your trust instead of completely being gullible, analyze things and protect yourself from those who would love to take advantage of your genuineness.