Stop caring about what other people say

People: From Whence I Came; “That was Then, This is Now”

Whence I Came: “That was then, This is Now.”

Are you a teenager or an adult trying to make sense of your life? Do you live in an environment where people seem to always mind your business, call you names, and say all negative things about you? Are you constantly walking on egg shells and hiding just because you are afraid of what other people might think or say? Do you live by the expectations of others, pleasing others instead of yourself? Do you allow other people to tell you who you are? Are you stuck in the past and unable to move forward? The purpose of this article is to share my perspectives about letting your past help shape your future, and doing so regardless of the point of view of others.

What is the Biggest Challenge You Face?

As a child, teenager, and young adult, I had my share of challenges. One of my biggest challenge was dealing with people who seem to enjoy gossiping, spreading rumors, and always trying to make other people’s life a living hell. As I grew older, I realized that this challenge and personal experience was not limited to me. Many teens and young adults have gone through similar experiences in their lives. And, some people still have this challenge past the age of young adulthood. It seems that, in some cultures such as mine, people have a pattern which is very hard to break. We grow up being ridiculed by adults and as soon as we become adults we do the same to those younger than us. And so, the pattern continues.

 

The Day I stopped Caring About What Other People Think

In my early twenties I decided that I was going to define who I am regardless of what other people think or say about me. I realized that I will lose sleep and much needed energy if I tried to please everyone but myself. You do good, there is talk. You make a mistake there is still talk.  What’s the point of allowing others to dictate your life?

 

“The day I stopped caring about what people think is the day my life changed for the better.”~Ophelia Myall

 

 

While I appreciate the thoughts of well-meaning people in my life. I definitely did not care for anyone who made it their business to point out where I came from.  I wonder why people took pains at reminding me of the poverty and the struggle? As if I had any trouble remembering…How could I forget? They were my own lived experiences. There is no need to remind me of them.

 

Let Your Past Shape Your Future

We can only truly understand what another is going through if we have been through a similar situation. As you reflect on your past, it is important that you learn from it and use your experiences as a motivating factor.  Whatever you do, make sure that you never get stuck in your past. Instead, use those negative experiences to carve your future. A future that people who had  negative to say and was always trying to see you fail could have never imagined. When these people see you, and they try to remind you about your past you can stand tall, look them in the eye, and say “that was then, this is now.”

 

 

Simply put, my past has shaped my future. It is what made me decided that I was going to make a difference in my life and the lives of others. It is what makes me persevere, take risks, fail and rise again. Take a look at this blog I found: 4 Steps to Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You

My past, despite its many challenges and pains, was what made me decided that I would never scorn anyone or think that I am better than anyone. It is through my past that I know and can empathize with others. Yes, I know what it means to have nothing to eat, no shoes on my feet, and no money in my pocket. I understand what it means to be fatherless and I definitely can relate to the feelings of hopelessness when there seems to be no way out.

The Future: Here and Now

It takes time, experience, reflection, and the willingness to look at things differently in order for one to transform.

Sometimes, you may feel as if you are not getting anywhere. There will be days when you’d want to throw in the towel and stay in your comfort zone. But, every time you feel like giving up, ask yourself, what would happen if I gave up? What do I have to fall back on?

 

I can remember when I was in nursing school I would complain about the workload and all the assignments that were shoved at us, mercilessly. And, when one of my colleagues got demoted or terminated I would cry my eyes out because I was going to miss them. There were days when I thought about quitting. But as I went through the program I realized that each of us had a journey. A journey unique to us and one which will be filled with obstacles, losses, and wins. I realized that if I left the program of my own accord, I would have been going back to the same situation I tried to escape. Now I was no fool…nor was I a quitter…each time I felt like the leaving, all I needed to do was reflect on my past and this helped me change my perspective…the way I looked at things.

 

Life is What You Make it

As long as you are mentally stable, healthy, able to think, breathe, and do things for yourself, your life is what you make it; f you are blessed with these qualities, characteristics or whatever you call them, you might as well make your life count for something positive! Whatever you do, make sure that you take every opportunity to be the best you that is possible. Give yourself some slack, love yourself enough to forgive you, and keep the faith. Life is not a bed of roses, but neither is it a bed of thorns. Some days you may go through difficulties, just remember to never give up. Stay focus, take small steps, take responsibility for your failures and credit for your wins. Reflect on your mistakes and constantly aim to improve yourself. Treat others the way you’d want them to treat you. Be kind to those you meet. Do not be selfish; as you rise remember to help others rise too.

Everyone has a story? What’s yours? Share your story, so that others might be inspired. Thank you for stopping by. Comments are very much appreciated. You can leave them in the comment box below.

 

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