Who are my friends? As I sit and ponder at my own life, I realized how much I’ve really changed. There was a time when I used to give my all to everyone around me and checkup on the people I called my friends to see how they were doing. However, at this point I couldn’t care less what some of these people are doing. Not that I wish them bad, I do not. But, you see, no longer do I check for those who do not check for me.
What do friends talk about on a regular basis? No longer do I waste time chatting about meaningless things. I take the time to do the things I enjoy such as motivating people through my writing and positive conversations. I aim to spend valuable time with the those I care about, those who inspire me, those who need my help, those who remember to ask how I am doing in my difficult moments, and who congratulate me in my accomplishing moments.
In today’s newsletter, my aim is to get you to realize that not everyone will be for you, even when you have been there for them. I encourage you to evaluate your friendships and see if the people you call friends are really your friends.
It takes the effort of two to make a relationship work. If you are the one always checking in, then you need to re-evaluate the status of that relationship. When I say relationship, I am not necessarily referring to intimate involvement only. I am talking about anyone who you chose to occupy your space, the ones you call friends, and tell your inner most secrets and desires.
Maintaining friendships could range from easy to very challenging. This is especially so because we all come with our own peculiar personalities, attitude, and beliefs. However, putting all these peculiarities aside, no relationship should be so difficult that we constantly feel as though we are the only one trying to keep it going, unsupported, or unappreciated.
Who Are These People With Whom You Associate?
The sad fact is that some of us have friends or people we would like to call friends who just hang around but never seem to have anything positive to contribute to our lives. Instead, they drag us down with their own dramatic lives and the lives of those they associate with. Do you have people in your life that when ever they come around they always have something to gossip about or some sad depressing story to tell you that in no way concerns you?
Do not be fooled. Not everyone, we call friends ,bring drama. To the contrary some are often missing in action when you need them. They keep their lives a secret as much as possible, inquire about yours, and never give you a word of encouragement. Pay attention and notice how they react when you share some great news about something you have achieved. Do they have very little, if anything at all, to say and sometimes quickly change the subject when you start talking about your accomplishments? Do they cheer you on or give any form of support?
Sometimes it is very difficult to spot these people because we are so naive to think that everyone is like us and wants the best for others. But stop, think about it and see that when you actually analyze your friendship, do you even know anything about the person you call friend? You shared your dreams and hopes for your future, but have they even listened to you or shared theirs in return?
The Final Decision Is Yours
Some people flock to you when they feel you are in a position where you can help them. It does not have to be in the form of money, it can be other ways. And, some of us are very sentimental, even in our friendships. Even though we know that the person we call our friend is not for us, we do everything in our power to keep them in our lives. Why? One simple fact is that some of us are so afraid of being alone that we will cling to anything, including a toxic friendship.
Today, I encourage you to take a look at the people you call friends and evaluate their presence in your life. Are they positive people who encourage you to follow your dreams as you’ve been encouraging them to do? Do they celebrate with you when you are having an accomplishing moment? Do they cry with you and support you when you are going through difficult times in your life? Six tips to Help You Survive When Walking Alone.
If the answer to any of those questions is “no” then it is time to cast these people aside. Yes! Let them go and move on. You do not have to tell them or explain anything, just withdraw emotionally then the physical distance will follow. I know this may sound cruel to some of you who are reading this, but I believe that if people are so dishonest as to be in your life for any other reason than to support, motivate, and inspire, then they should not be allowed to be a part of your life. There are too many stresses in life and adding fake friends to the list does not do any good for you or anyone for that matter. Let go! Move on! Find real friends!