Beware of Fake Love and Fake Friends
How do I know when someone loves me or is my friend, are questions I have asked for many years. Of late, so many people have been asking the same question that I decided to write about it at this point. Why are the signs that someone loves you or is your friend you such a mystery? Alternatively, is it really a mystery? Perhaps, is it that we ignore the signs and only pay attention to what others say to us and not their action?
Unfortunately, not everyone who says they love you actually does love you or is your friend. In addition, this is not just talking about intimate relationships. This question of knowing when someone loves you also applies to social friendships as well…the people you look out for and in turn, expect them to look out for you.
Some friends will genuinely care for you regardless of who you are or what you have. However, there are some who will love you for what you can give to them, and when the moment comes and you find yourself in a downward spiral they are no there to help.
In addition, some people will claim to be your friends but they will secretly be envious of you and not be genuinely happy when you are succeeding. Then there are some, you will find them around you when everything is going bad but the minute things turn around they would be silent; it is as if they enjoyed hearing about your misery. Watch out for those who are there when you are losing but are silent when you start winning. The ones who tell you they are happy for you but never act that way. Always remember love is an action word.
Then there are those people who will be around you for years pretending to be your friend. However, one day, your circumstances changed or their circumstances changed and all of a sudden they start acting different; when this happens you will ask yourself why they act the way they do. You are may become puzzled and cannot understand why this person will suddenly turn on you. Nevertheless, my question is, “Were you always in this situation?” You see, some people will stick to your side as long as you are fulfilling some need for them. However, the minute you can no longer help them you will see the other side of them. You may think that the years you have known each other will count for something. However, with fake friends this is not the case, you only see their true colors when you are no longer useful to them.
I wish I could tell you that the people you love will always feel the same way about you. Nevertheless, experience has taught me that people change and circumstances do too. The best you can do is set an example by being honest in your intentions and not pretending to feel what you do not feel.
Also, when issues arise in your friendship/relationships, deal with them instead of keeping your emotions inside; by doing so, you avoid unnecessary pain and explosions later on.
Life is short. The best we can do is to love ourselves enough not tolerate anyone using us. If the friendship has ran its course it is in your best interest to let it go. Some people will naturally fall by the way side, others you deliberately leave behind when the time comes. My philosophy is to always be honest in your intentions and try to leave people better than you met them. Do not intentionally harm, use or abuse anyone. Treat others the way you would love to be treated. Moreover, if you cannot help someone the least you can do is no harm.