Six Secrets to Successful Dating and Relationships
Are you thinking about going back into the dating game? Are you currently dating someone? Are you having issues in your relationship? What is your opinion about love, dating, and relationships? Have you found it difficult to get past the initial stages of dating?
Today I want to discuss six key aspects of dating that could help you turn your relationships around and make your experiences in dating a positive one. You see, many of us are searching for that special someone to share our lives with; however, some of us find it challenging to make even our dating successful. Below I share with you the secrets to successful dating or building relationships, which are not really secrets at all because we know these things, we just do not remember to use them in our lives.
The Level of Interest in the Person You are Dating
One of the first things that you should consider when you decide to date someone is your level of interest in the person and the person’s level of interest in you.
Sometimes, we date for the wrong reasons. Some of us date for fame, physical looks, sexual intercourse, money and material convenience and so on. If you are only interested in what the person have and not the individual, then dating this person will not last. Before you decide to take your dating relationship to the next level, consider what would happen if the person loses the things that you were attracted to in the first place.
In order for dating to be successful, both individuals must have a genuine interest in each other and not just what each brings to the table. Relationships are not fairytales, it takes hard work to make it work and if there is no genuine interest in each other, neither of you will have the interest to do the work when the going gets tough.
The Level of Honesty for Each Other
In order for a relationship to work, both of you need to be honest from the start. Now, I am not saying that you should tell the other person all of your dirty little secrets from day one, no. What I am saying is that both of you should be honest about what you are looking for if you were to take the dating phase to the next level. Ask your date what he or she is looking for at that time. Are you looking for a fling, a one-night stand, or a meaningful relationship? Likewise, be honest about your intentions so that both of you are on the same page.
Being honest about your intentions from the onset allows both of you to make informed decisions regarding whether you continue seeing each other or walking away before someone gets hurt. Things that last must have a good foundation to begin with and being honest with your partner is a something that you shoul practice and expect from each other. A relationship built on lies will not last.
The Level of Consistency in the Dating/Relationship
When you and another person decide to date each other there must be consistency in terms of how you treat each other, the time you spend together and in your conversations. Without consistency the level of trust you have for that person will not develop.
For instance, if you are dating someone and that person tells you he/she loves you, but does not spend quality time with you because he/she always claims to be busy, your level of trust in that person will dwindle. Naturally, as your trust in that person decreases, so would your confidence in the relationship.
It is so common, in the beginning, for the two of you to spend time together; however, after you have confessed your feelings the other person might take you for granted thinking he/she has arrived. This is the point where you can become anxious because you are not feeling as his/her priority anymore. You may be tempted to lash out in anger, but hold up. Instead of lashing out, have a conversation.
If you are in a long distance relationship and it is difficult to reach the person by calling then construct a well thought out voice note letting the person know how you feel. Instead of accusing or blaming, own your feelings. Let the person know that you appreciated what you had but for some reason you are not feeling as connected, lately. Let the person know that you would like for both of you to spend some time together as you did in the beginning. Do not beg, do not plead, just state your feelings in a calm way and let them know you are looking forward to hearing from them, then allow them to get back to you. The nature of the person’s response, and/or how long they take to respond and what the person does next will help you decide if the person is interested in continuing the relationship.
Use your intuition to help you decide; a relationship should not make you cry all the time, there should be more happy moments than unhappy ones.
The Level of Respect You Have and Show for That Person
Let us face it; we all mess up sometimes. Sometimes we say and do things that we do not mean. Sometimes, we may not even realize we are being disrespectful, until the other person points out the problem to us. Being respectful is not just about saying things in a polite manner, it is also about you being patient with the other person when you think you’ve been wronged you. Before accusing the person, give him/her a chance to speak and explain self. Sometimes, we may be so engulf in our own selfish needs that we do not stop to think that the person may have a genuine reason why they did not call, or did not do something we expected them to do.
Show appreciation for the things your partner does; this will encourage him/her to do better. Try not to focus on the negatives and the next time your partner messes up, give him/her a chance to explain and simply listen before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes, because of our pasts experiences we tend to jump the gun and imagine things that are not there.
Click Here for some tips for women from men regarding dating
The Level of Patience You Exercise With Each Other
Relationships take hard work in order to be successful. When I was a teen and in my twenties, I had the preconceived notion that relationships were like in the movies and romance books I have read. Later on as my relationships failed one by one, I realized that unless two people are patient with each other, the relationship would not get past the dating stage.
In the dating stage, it is easy and everything flows smoothly. However, at the first sign of a problem one partner decides to bolt without even trying to work things out. We have the mentality that the grass is always greener on the other side, but we ought not to think this way. If we keep running away when minor problems occur, we would never have a successful relationship. Chances are, the same problems you encounter in the relationship you ran away from, will be similar to the ones you encounter with the next person you run to.
Unless there is abuse or something that will harm you (mentally, physically, emotionally or otherwise), why not stop looking for the next best thing and make what you have work? As long as the two of you are committed, you will be able to overcome the hurdles that come with being in a relationship.
6. The Level Of Acceptance For Each Other
You should never try to change the person you fall in love with because it will backfire. Allow and accept the person for who they are or simply leave them and move on.
This is not to say that you would not encourage the person to improve where necessary, but not in a way that is controlling or trying to dominate for the sake of one partner feeling good about him or herself. We are all unique and we all deserve love for who we are and not what other people want us to be.
By the same token, do not allow your partner to change you into someone you don’t want to be. Before you met him/her, you had a life, you had your unique interests and hobbies. It is crucial that you do not center your entire world around your partner. While it is important to have interests in what each other does, it is also important to maintain your own interest so you have something that makes you happy outside of the relationship.
These tips are not just for the dating stage, but also to be practiced throughout your relationship so that you and your partner can avoid some of the biggest issues that arise when misunderstandings are not addressed as they arise. Remember “Don’t let it fester.”
Do you have anymore tips for dating and relationships? If so, please, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below.