Communicate With Men: Get Him to Respond to You

 

Pausing for A photo in the heat of our festival, Vincy Carnival, 2016
Get him to respond to you by smiling instead of frowning

 

Learn how to communicate with men and get him to respond to you by reading on. Have you ever been in a relationship where you were afraid to express how you felt? Are you one of the many women who believe men do not like when we say how the feel?

So many of us, women have bought into the idea that men do not like to communicate, so rather than expressing how we feel, some of us resort to silent treatment or lashing out defensively in hopes of getting our men to do better.

Through my interactions with men, I have discovered that some men actually love when we communicate with them when something is bothering us. What they do not like is the way some of us go about talking to them. Do you have any problems in getting him to respond to you? If so, get him to respond to you by considering the following tips.

Some Men Express Their Views 

A few days ago, two of my men friends and I were in a conversation. After a while, the conversation switched to communication in relationships. I listened while these two men shared their views. One of them said to me “I do not like it when I’m in a relationship with a woman and l do something that she does not like and she just clams up and give me the silent treatment. What l would like is for her to say to me why she is upset and do so in a non-argumentative way, instead of attacking me. My other friend shared similar views, too.

Other men I’ve spoken to have shared similar views on how they’d like women to share their feelings. Neither are they the only ones I know who have issues with how women voice their dissatisfaction. Most of them claimed they feel as if their women are confrontational when communicating about the things which they are not pleased with.

 How Not to Communicate With Men

About two weeks ago I happen to be sitting with a group of women when I heard one of the women shouting at her man who had just joined us. Though I will not repeat what she said to him, I must say that her tone of voice and the fact that she confronted him in our presence left much to be desired. I am a woman and I am all for women. But, at the same time, it is difficult to pretend that some of us do not have a problem in the way we communicate with our men. Often times, we are only aware of our behavior when it is too late and we have pushed our men away.

How Does This Information Help Us Women?

Women love to say what is on their mind. But, we sometimes struggle to express ourselves in ways that make our men want to listen to us. The knowledge that our men love when we communicate brings us to the awareness that we can really solve any problem by using the right language and tone of voice.

For example rather than lashing out and asking “why were you talking to her?” Or, confronting our spouse in the presence others, we can control our emotions until we have a private moment and let him know we felt bad, hurt, angry, or upset because we saw him talking to the woman. Whatever the issue is, speak your truth respectfully and give him time to respond.

Personally, I’ve found that I get a positive response whenever I use a non-confrontational or blaming approach. In the times when I’ve used an attacking approach to our conversation, I either got him to engage in an argument or shut down completely. Either way we are left feeling even more angry or frustrated and the issue is not resolved. I might also mention that some of my male friends actually confided to me that if their spouse speaks to them in a confrontational manner they feel as if they are spoiling for a fight. So, rather than respond, they might either stay quiet, or walk away. I’ve also seen men who responded in the way the woman spoke to him, as in the case of the woman I mentioned earlier on who confronted her man in the presence of all of us.

Practice: Keep Our Anger in Check and Be Mindful

We will find that we get men to respond when we communicate in a way that shows we respect our partners. Even if we are angry, we should try our best to keep the anger in check and express our feelings. If we feel we are too angry to do so, we should take some time to calm down before dealing with the issue.

We should always try to remember to treat people how we want them to treat us. It is only natural that if we lash out the other person will act defensively. The sole aim of expressing our feelings is to stop minor issues from escalating. In order to get him to respond to you, deal with the issue at hand and do not wander off to any other issue which may have occurred in the past. At the end of the conversation, we and our partners should have settled any misunderstandings amicably.

Always remember that the goal is to get him to respond to you. I know this may be harder than it sounds, but if we practice mindfulness, we will be amazed at the results when we speak our truth respectfully.

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