Category Archives: Spiritual

5 Tips to Help You Cope & Find Peace In Difficult Times

5 Tips to Help You Cope & Find Peace in Difficult Times

 

How to Cope and Maintain Inner Peace in Difficult Times

 

Are you in a situation where you find it difficult to cope? Do you constantly encounter challenges that are beyond your control? Are you in a workplace where you are being bullied? Do you work in an environment where you are always on edge for fear of making a mistake? Are you in a relationship where things are always unstable?

Whatever your situation is I want you to know that you are not alone. Many of us go through similar experiences in life. After a while, we realize constant worrying and bickering back and forth does not do well for our emotional and even physical health. If the situation you find yourself in cannot be changed immediately, you need to find a way to find inner peace while all hell seems to be breaking loose around you. The following things are what I use to help me cope with difficult times.

 

Pray and Meditate

For most of my life, I have heard about prayer and meditation. While I took the time to pray, I never combined it with mediation until about a year ago. I was trying to create a more balanced life and wanted to pay more attention to my spiritual needs. Even after accomplishing my goals, I felt this inner emptiness, an emptiness which refused to go away. That is, until I found this beautiful You tube video which instructs us on how to have a relationship with god. Here is the link to the video.

This video changed the way I looked at my spiritual life forever. Meditation has become a daily habit of mine. Since I have begun this daily practice I have managed to maintain an inner calm and cope, regardless of what is happening outside of me. Prior to finding this video, I used some of the following tips I share with you.

Create Space

If it is possible, try to create some space between you and the situation which is causing you distress. If it is a family member who is living with you, you can try taking a nature walk, going to the beach, or spending time with a friend. Depending on the situation, this strategy may be difficult to achieve. For example, if your source of stress is in the work place, there is no way of really creating sufficient space; especially if you work in an open space which requires interaction with others on a frequent basis.

If, however, your source of stress is on social media, you can create space by blocking, un-following, or unfriending the individual (s) whose actions are interfering with your inner peace. If those strategies do not work, deactivating your account may be another option. From time to time I deactivate my account just to focus on other things more important such as spending time with my family or my writing.

Reach Out to Someone Outside of the Situation

One of the things I have found helpful when dealing with a distressful situation is to talk with a trusted friend or relative. While it is not good to discuss every issue with another person, especially if it is relationship problem, there comes a time when the burden gets too much for one to cope without outside help.  Find someone you trust and let them hear you out. Sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on, listening ear, and a rational mind to help us gain perspective.

Personally, I try keeping this strategy for more complex situations. There are somethings which we are capable of dealing with without involving others. Usually, we are able to tell when we need to reach out, the urge is often very difficult to ignore. If you are in a situation where another person is trying to convince you that you are crazy or seeing things. you definitely need to reach out in order to help you gain perspective. Situations like these require professional help. Whatever you do, please find someone you trust and unburden yourself so you can find get rid of the torment and find inner peace.

Stay Focused

I know you must be wondering what staying focused has to do with finding inner peace. A few years ago, I was in a situation where I was working in an environment which felt hostile to me. I was studying full-time in an online program, taking care of my then 4 year old and, working full time. Each of these responsibilities had its own share amount of stress. The easiest thing for me to have done at that time was give up one of the responsibility. Although I dreaded going in to work most days, I could not give up my job, because it was my only source of income and I had all of my family obligations.  I could not give up my daughter, so I did not even consider this as an option. I could have given up the online program I was doing. But, had I done so, I would have missed out on a great opportunity to gain the knowledge, experience and great people I met along the way.

Despite all the inner turmoil my situation created, I refused to succumb. Once I decided I was not giving up, I firmly stock to the task and stopped worrying about what I had no control over. After a while, I was so focused on what was important that I able to cope with most of the stress which I experienced at work.

 

Make a Plan of Exit

I cannot stress this enough… Anytime you find yourself in a situation that is continually stressful, and nothing seems to be improving, begin your plan to leave. Two examples of situations that require such a plan is a hostile work environment and a dead end relationship. If it is the former, save as much as you can; some financial experts say save at least six months of your pay in an emergency fund. If possible save more than six months. Take every opportunity to make upgrade your skills and knowledge and make yourself marketable just in case you need to find another job. Start your job search; this is especially critical if you have additional expenses such as tuition loans or a mortgage.

If it is a relationship which is going nowhere, your plan of exit may be different. If it is an abusive relationship, you may need to seek professional help to prevent the situation from escalating.

Whatever the situation, making a plan of to leave shows that you have not given up hope…that you have a future to look forward to; this creates a sense of peace…a feeling that everything will be alright.

In my own situations, I have used all of these strategies at one time or another. I found each strategy helpful depending on the situation I am facing. The key is to not let your problem overwhelm you to the point where stress leads you to physical or mental illness, or cause you to lose hope.

Please take the time to comment and share your stories or suggestions of what we can do to help us cope with stress and create inner peace.

 

Six Tips to Help You Survive When Walking Alone

 

 

 

If things are going smooth in your life, I can guarantee you that you will never find yourself walking alone. You’ll have people all around you, to the point where you’d be trapped in to a false sense of security, that you can count on if something goes wrong. Now, imagine, what will happen if one day you find yourself in a difficult situation and the people you once knew are nowhere to be found. This is an affiliate link where you can check out Our Ultimate Reality, a reference for Wealth, Health, Meditation, by clicking this link. Suddenly, you realize that you are alone with your faith in a higher being the only thing to pull you through the dark tunnel that has now become your life. You are down and out, but don’t lose your mind just yet. You are surely going to need your mind to enjoy the blessings that are coming your way.  Are you walking alone? Here are six tips to help you survive when walking alone.

 

  1. Focus on Yourself

Just because everyone else appears to have everything going for them does not mean it is necessarily so.  We do not benefit by wasting our time looking at what others have instead of focusing on how we can improve ourselves. While it is great to emulate the positive actions of those we admire, we should be careful not to take our focus to the point of jealousy and obsession. We must recognize that each of us are unique and blessed with unique gifts and talents.

In order to recognize your purpose, look within yourself and reflect on the things which makes you feel fulfilled and are beneficial to others. How can you use your love for that thing to enhance your own live and the lives of others? What can I do to improve my skills so that my talent can be of benefit to myself and others?

 

  1. Walk by Faith and Trust the Process

As humans we love to be in control, because we fear what is likely to happen if things do not go the way we anticipate. In order to survive when walking alone, one of the things we need to realize is that we cannot control the outcomes of our journey.  Somethings are not within our control. Instead of worrying about how things are going to turn out, we should trust that things will work out for our betterment.

You do not know what is in store for you, whatever you do, try to stay positive. There will be times when you will feel low in energy and off balance; take time to reflect on the good things which came your way after a period of hardship. I can recall the many instances in which life dealt very hard with me, but I never gave up. I kept the faith and kept going with the thought that nothing I have been through would be in vain.

  1. Make Prayer Your Constant Companion

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among nations, I will be exalted in the earth: Psalm 46:10. Not everyone believes in prayer or reading the Holy Bible, but for those who believe in a higher power you will find that praying and reading the word of God helpful practices. Instead of trying to talk to those who have deserted you in, when walking alone, talk to yourself and to that higher being in which you believe. I believe in God the Almighty. I believe that he hears and answers those who call up on his name, as the good scripture says. So, I talk to Him always, and even more so when I have my problems, I have conver

sations with Him.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Even if you never prayed, it is never too late to do so. Sometimes you hear others condemning people for only praying when they are in trouble, but do not let the condemnation of others prevent you from seeking God.  Instead, ask the Almighty to give you inner peace so that whatever circumstances you find yourself in does not take control of your mind. Check out Bishop T.D Jakes~ Let it Go.

Personally, I try to occupy a great portion of my day with things which gives me mental energy. For example, I listen to gospel music. Three of my favorite songs are Still, Cornerstone, and I Belong to You. I also listen to preaching: my favorite preaching is that done by Bishop Noel Jones. He preaches on real life issues and how you can overcome them, using a biblical perspective. You can find many sermons by Bishop Noel Jones by just googling his name or typing his name on You Tube. In the mean time you can check out I am Not Built to Break.

  1. Believe in Yourself Even If You Are the Only One 

Believe in your dreams regardless to who is or isn't with you
Believe in your dreams regardless to who is or isn’t with you

Self-esteem and confidence in yourself is crucial when you are going through your struggles, if you want to survive when walking alone. There are many books and articles which can help you figure out how to improve your self-esteem. Whatever you do, do not limit your beliefs to your immediate situation, instead, hold fast to the vision you have for your future. Even if no one believes in you or gives up on you it does not mean you should stop believing in yourself.  Even though you are not getting the encouragement from those you really want to, keep working on your goals. Consider and reflect on questions such as; what is my talent? What do I enjoy doing most? What do I picture myself doing in the future? How can I use my circumstances to improve myself?

Recently, I was at a conference and one of the speakers was Dr. the Honorable Ralph E. Gonsalves, the Prime Minister of St. Vincent and the Grenadines. One of the things which I found motivating about his speech was that he claimed as a young aspiring politician he went into the local communities to have rallies and no one turned up. He claimed that sometimes, people turned off their lights as if they were asleep and sometimes his only audience was an old man and a dog. The moral of story is that even if no one else believes in your dreams, the most important thing is that you believe in them. It does not matter who choose to support or not support you, you will achieve your goals once you keep working on the means by which you can achieve them. Always remember that the only means of succeeding is not quitting. Go with your inner convictions and do not let your current circumstances and the perceptions of others talk you out of your aspirations.

 

  1. Be Brave Despite Your Fears and Do Not Quit

Recognize that because you feel alone does not mean you should give up. The first time I entered Walden University online classroom I had this feeling I was in the wrong place. I knew very little about computers, but here I was taking on something that was so much bigger than I. Here is a link to a helpful article I found, very inspiring read: 7 Ways to Persist When Everything in You Wants to Give Up

My biggest challenge was doing a master’s degree online. I hardly had any knowledge of how to do a word document or an Excel spread sheet.  Instead of becoming discouraged by my fear of the unknown, I reached out to one of the professors and I told him I felt as if I was in the wrong place. The professor quoted my name Ophelia from the Shakespeare act. By giving me this encouragement, professor helped me see that even though I felt fearful, I must go through with my studies and tackle each obstacle as it came along. I worked steadily towards my goal with nothing but the belief that once I put in the effort it will pay off. Through it all, I kept the vision of me attending graduation and receiving my certificate. But most importantly, I prayed constantly. Thanks to the Almighty: the outcome was just as I imagined.

 

  1. Do Not Waste Your Energy on Being Angry and Unforgiving 

When people we love desert us, it is easy for us to feel angry and bitter. We remember all the good things we would have done for them and because of this we feel we are entitled to their loyalty. Even though this is logical thinking, we must realize that because we have been good to others mean they will be good to us. Instead of wasting your energy on anger and bitterness, forgive those who have wronged you and move on. Anger is unhealthy when we allow it to consume us. Let it go. Here is The Art of Letting Go of Anger, Toxic People, and Toxic Feelings.

I know, things are easier said than it is done. But, just like you, I have gone through difficult times in my life and these tips I share with you have helped me through the moments when no one seems to be around to help me. While it is great to have friends, people are not always going to come through for you at the time when you need them to do so. This does not mean that you should give up on you. Instead, seek the help and guidance of the Almighty,  with Him you are not alone. Also, focus on yourself, keep the faith, and trust that things will work out for you. Life is short; do not lose your mind over difficult circumstances. Seek inner peace and be content with where you are while working to improve yourself.

Thank you for stopping by. Please share with someone with the hope of inspiring. I have just discovered this affiliate link to Our Ultimate Reality, a reference for aspects of our lives including wealth, health, and meditation. Click here to find out more.

 

Crisis: Dealing With Crisis From A Spiritual Perspective

 

A beautiful moment captured by my friend, Ashley
A beautiful moment captured by my friend, Ashley

Crisis! Have you ever been faced with a crisis, which brought up feelings of anger, hatred, or hurt within you? How did you react to the situation? Did you verbally of physically lash out at the people around you? Did you say things that you would not have said otherwise?

Crisis, Unfortunately, happens! I am sure that many of us have been in situations which caused us emotional distress. I am even certain that we have reacted in ways that may have even surprised us.

Recently as I pondered on the issue of how we react when we are faced with problems, I realized, it is not just so much the issue we face that affects us, but how we deal with it. When we are in a situation which causes us to experience strong emotions, some of us do not think rationally. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment we do or say things we will later regret. Our actions may result in harm to ourselves or others and may not always be revocable.

 

Perspectives on Handling Stressful Situations

The good news is that not everyone reacts negatively in a crisis. Some people are quite good at dealing with emotionally intense situations without showing any visible signs of their suffering. I always wondered how they managed to do so. Then, just recently a male friend and I was having a conversation and he told me he was one of those persons who reacted violently when he was in his teens and almost harmed another teenager. After the incident, he had an awakening which caused him to always concentrate on keeping his feelings in check regardless of the situation.

 

But, some of us are not like my friend; we have a hard time controlling our emotions. For example, we may be in a situation where we believe we are being treated unfairly. In our efforts to explain ourselves we end up giving the issue too much significance and before we know it we end up in an argument which we never intended in the first place. One thing I have realized is that sometimes it is better to let your silence speak than to try to explain yourself, especially when the other party has already formed an opinion of the situation. With crisis comes feelings of disappointment. Read my blog on Disappointment: Do Not Take it so Disappointingly.

 

Handling Stressful Situations, A Spiritual Perspective

As I looked at crisis from a spiritual perspective, I realized that there is another way, besides self-control which can help us in our day of crisis. Perla (2008) in his book “Always Joyful: Experiencing God’s Love” urged us not to make rash decision, but to seek God when we are experiencing a painful situation. He reasoned that once we seek God, we will know what we should do and may avoid making mistakes and causing ourselves more pain.

When I first read the advice by Perla, I was a bit skeptical. I doubted whether I will know if God spoke to me. I doubted whether I will be rational enough to take His advice. Nevertheless, I told myself the only way to find out if his advice has merit is to be mindful the next time I am in a crisis and pray to God first before reacting. Since I have read this advice I cannot tell you how many times I have practiced praying first before making a decision. Whether the situation is a crisis or not, I have made it a habit to pray before making any major decisions in my life. I am happy to say that although some decisions do not go according to my expectations, I end up feeling less stressed at the end of it all.

 

Make it A Habit to Seek God

So how can we apply the concept of praying when faced with difficult situations? First, I urge that we make it a habit to always  seek God so that when we are experiencing a crisis we will know where to find him. The thing about forming habit is that once formed they are very difficult to break. Even when we are not in our comfort zone our actions become natural to us.   One of my favorite verses to repeat is Psalms 46: 10 ” Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted  among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. I can recall the first time I saw this verse. I was upset about a personal situation I was facing and during my ranting the paper calendar I had on the wall fell on the counter next to me. It was blown down by the wind.

 

As I looked at it, the words “Be still, and know that I am God” glared at me. For a moment I was taken aback as I considered what it really meant.  After a few moments, the full force of those words sank in and just as the anger came, it left my body. I kept repeating those words, I knew that it was no accident that the calendar fell. These words were meant to give me comfort and help me keep the faith that everything was going to be fine. And they were. Whatever it is you are going through, always remember that God is bigger than all our problems. We need only trust him and allow him to lead us.

Thank you for stopping by and reading.  i Hope that this article was a blessing to you. Please share this post to someone who you think will benefit from another perspective to dealing with a crisis.