Five Healthy Ways To Get Over A Breakup
Almost everyone I know has been through a breakup at one time or another in his or her life. While it is difficult for some people to get past a breakup, others seem to have no problem doing so. Just recently, I was reading about how the zodiac signs deal with breakup and according to the articles I read, some people take very little time to get over a lost love while others like those under the sign of Virgo takes forever. Whether you take little or no time to get over a breakup, this post is to help you gain perspective by applying a few changes to your life so that you can move on.
Accept The Situation For What It Is
After a break-up, you might have the tendency to live in denial. You might even hold on to the hope of reconciling with that person. However, doing so is not healthy as it prolongs the heartbreak and the ability to move on.
Sometimes, people make up after a break up, but those are in cases where both parties involved made rash decisions in the heat of an argument and rather than sit and discuss the issues they jumped the gun and said they were finished. If the situation was not a mere argument and you did have a conversation to end things, you have no choice but to move on (for example, if you were married or in an exclusive relationship). In addition, if the person disappears without having a conversation with you then it would be in your best interest to accept that the person is no longer interested in you. This latter situation often occurs in non-committed relationships (flings, friends with benefits, new relationships etc.).
Take The Time To Process The Breakup
After a breakup, you might either cry about it or hide your feelings. I say, it is better to cry your heart out and get on the road to recovery than to suppress your feelings only to become depressed later down the road. You may think that burying your feelings and pretending all is well is the best strategy; however, this behavior will only serve to prolong the inevitable. Whether now or later, you will need to get those emotions out; the healthier option is now than later.
If you must, go over the issues you encountered in the relationship. Reflect on your role in what took place. For example, did you take time to know the person? Did you communicate your needs in the relationship (what you expected or wanted from the partnership) from the beginning? Did you see and ignore red flags such as the person being emotionally unavailable, married, or in a committed relationship?
After you have reflected, take the lessons from it. Make a commitment to address the problems you had. Ask yourself, “how can I improve my communication skills? How can I make sure to avoid emotionally unavailable men/women in my next future date?
Checkout this article I found on Daily Mail Online 10 Steps to Heal A Boken Heart
Maintain No Contact And Move On
If you were the one who initiated the breakup then it might be less painful for you; however, if the other person was the one to do so, this can make you feel devastated: especially if you had not seen it coming.
The person is finished with you and you had the talk. Everything is final. Or, they have ran off without a word and you have not gotten a response despite all your phone calls and messages the best thing to do in either case is to move on with your life. If you keep contacting the person, it shows that you are holding hopes of getting back together and this in itself is can be very painful. The more you reach out to the person is the more they will avoid you, and it is the more you will be stuck in that painful abyss.
On the other hand, if you maintain the no contact rule, you will find that after as little as a week you will start to feel less desperate for that other person’s affection. In addition, if you keep doing the no contact, you will begin to accept things for what is and this will make you less heartbroken. From experience, I have learned that not contacting the person I was in a relationship with is the best way to get over heartbreak. If the person contacts you and you are determined to leave that person, you should never answer the person’s call. Not answering prevents you from falling back into the emotional roller coaster, which is sure to happen if you are still trying to get over that person.
Concentrate On Building Yourself
While all of these steps are just as crucial to take after a breakup, the list would not be complete if I did not include this step. The reason why I suggest that you concentrate on yourself is because it is likely that you may suffer from low self-esteem/low self-worth, depending on the type of relationship you had, such as those of physical and emotional abuse.
Concentrate on self does not only mean to take care of your physical beauty and diet, but also to focus on the spiritual aspects of self. Some ways you can do this include meditation, yoga, listening to positive talks such as preaching of the gospel or music, traveling, joining a club, and surrounding yourself with people who love you.
Dedicate Yourself To A Purpose
What is life without living for a reason? If you spent all your time focusing on your relationship, then you are definitely going to need something to fill that gap. And, what better way to do so than to find a cause that is worth living or dying for, and pursuing it? Find that one thing you enjoy doing and put your all into it. Some people who believe that love cures love. While this may be true in some instances, I believe that in order to truly heal, one must take time away from intimate relationships and concentrate on healing themselves so that when the next person comes along you would be in a better place to accept and give love.
I could remember when my life fell apart, both jobwise and related to relationship. Rather than sit around and complain, I finally decided I was going to establish this blog. I started without knowing anything about blogging and website, but my passion for writing kept me going. Today along with the blogs, I also have a strong social media presence where I have been sharing my thoughts on topics pertaining to personal development. I am, by no means, where I want to be, but the very fact that I am writing has been sufficient to curb my anxiety and heal my heart. Now, I am in a much better place to accept love and to give love.
Whatever you do, DO NOT get stuck in a rot. Life is hard, but living with a broken heart is much worse. You deserve to have a beautiful relationship with someone who deserves you. All the best in life and love. Please share, like or comment below.