Figure out the Confusion and Find Direction in Life. As I reflect on my past, I must acknowledge that the most challenging periods of my life were late childhood, teenage, and early adulthood. At this age, I was faced with confusion and had so many challenges and so little resources to help me figure them out. In my late teen years, after I became a teenage mother I decided to associate with the people who lived on the streets. No to do what they were doing, but to learn how they lived. I realized there was so much I did not know.
Even though I realized that there was no way that a person can absolutely avoid difficult periods in life, I knew there were ways in which a person can overcome them. All I needed to do was find out what I the confusion was all about. Through experience and observing others, I have come up with five tips to help you figure out the confusion and find direction in life. .
Know You Are Worthy Regardless of Your Financial Status
I used to attach my self-worth to material things. I grew up thinking that in order for me to be recognized as somebody I had to have material things such as car, money, house, land, a career and be associated with people who were popular. And though I thought all of these things, I decided to myself that if I were to own any of these things it will be by the sweat of my brow. Nevertheless, I wish someone had told me I did not need these things in order to be worthy. That I was worthy from the day I was born.
In order to escape from reality, I would turn inward and find solace in my own world. A world I created for myself. A world where I was a princess, I had everything, and was loved for who I am. Even at that age, I knew what was missing in my life. And, as difficult as it was to get by each day, my realization that there was more to life than what I was experiencing kept me pushing through those painful moments.
Whenever you find yourself feeling low in confidence and self-worth, always remember that you are a unique being. You may lack all the material comforts that others have, but it does not make you a lesser person. While material comforts are great to have, it should not be attached to how you feel about yourself. You are who you are with or without the riches. So, concentrate on being the best you there can be.
Some of the most beautiful people I have met have a history of being poor, deprived, and from broken homes. It is through their experiences that they became successful. Through their experiences that they made treating people with kindness and dignity a priority over material things.
Be Strong Enough to Say No
One of the best things that can happen to us is when we develop the ability to say no without feeling guilty about doing so. Until we learn to say no, we will always be a puppet and dance to other people’s tune. When you say no, be prepared to meet resistance and name calling from those you said no to. Don’t worry, after saying no for the first time, you will find it easier to say the next time around. And you know what? Nothing anyone says will override your decision unless you have a genuine change of heart of your own accord.
While some people are easily swayed by the people they associate with. I have always had a mind of my own. I do not allow myself to be swayed unless I feel the need to. It does not matter how much name calling or ridicule come my way, I would not be budged into making a choice based on what others think. When I make a decision, it is because I have analyzed every aspect of the issues involved and see that it is the best interest of those involved, including myself…I found this article from The Muse, while on twitter,it makes for a very interesting read: 5 Habits to Help You Feel in Control of Your Life.
I can recall at 20 years old being offered $3000 dollars to transport marijuana to another country. I did not have a penny to my name, but with an inner sense of responsibility, integrity, and my great sense of wrong from right, I refused. I said to the person “I have never traveled in a plane before and I am not going to make my first trip transporting illegal drugs.”
Remember The Guiding Principles
As I reflect on my past, I realized that I was a lost soul back then. Lack of proper parenting during my teen years, growing up in a dysfunctional home with a stepfather who drank alcohol, and my real father missing in my life was not an easy thing for me. My mother only taught me about the good things, she never taught me about the negative things which can happen to me. Don’t get me wrong though, I do not think that this omission was deliberate, but rather a lack of knowledge on my mother’s part.
To give credit to my mother, she taught me the basic principles on which I have built my foundation today. She taught me to pray before I sleep, to say thank you when someone was kind to me, to share even when I had very little, to be kind and helpful to others, to greet others when I pass them by, to be honest, never steal, and to always tell the truth. She was poor, but it never stopped her from ensuring that we lived by these Godly principles.
I Made prayer a habitual part of my life so that when I felt hopeless I found comfort in reading passages from the bible.
Even as I grew older, these principles have been the key to my survival and how I relate to others. It is these principles that kept me afloat while I struggle through the pain, darkness, and hard times.
Figure Out the Confusion by Seeking Wisdom
While some parents believe in sheltering their children from the ugly things which happen around us, I am of the view that as a child grows we ought to teach them based on their level of understanding. For if we do not teach them about the bad things which can happen to them and how to deal with certain situations our children run the risk of suffering more than they would have, if they were educated beforehand.
Young people, I say to you, education is not just about academics. You’ve got to be educated about what is happening in the environment around you. To help you figure out the confusion, learn to socialize with others outside of your immediate environment.
Everyone has a story you just never know what you might learn. Embrace the elders in your community, they too have valuable lessons to teach. Listen to the news regularly and take time to read books, articles, blogs, and anything that is readable. Sometimes you do not need to have a real experience to be informed about it. Reading broadens your horizons and help you develop your thinking and analytical skills.
When ever there is confusion, always remember to reflect before acting out. Just because someone else smokes or drinks alcohol does not mean you have to do the same thing. Just because someone steals or bullies others it does not mean that you have to. And, even though your friends are all sexually active it does not mean that something is wrong with you if you have never had sexual intercourse. Whenever you encounter a conflicting situation reflect on the principles which your parent(s) taught you. Imagine the worst case scenario and whether you are prepared to live with the consequences of your actions.
Be Easy On Yourself
Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves when we make mistakes. But I am here to tell you that while it is good if we all can avoid making mistakes, it is not the end of the world if you do. I can tell you from my own experiences that when you make a mistake you might face ridicule from others, you may cry your heart out, you may even feel as if your whole life has ended. But, guess what? You really do not have the luxury of lying down and die. After you have made your mistake your only option should be picking up the pieces and moving on. For Christ’s sake, what is wrong with you? You have so much life to live…stop being hard on yourself.
Whatever situation you are facing in your life, know that you are not alone. Someone out there may have faced or is currently experiencing a similar situation. Know when to seek help and advice from others. Sometimes talking to someone can give you another perspective than the one you have. All you need to do is reach out, be patient, and walk steadily through those difficult periods. Every journey has an end as long as you don’t quit…